Ugly Uriah--A children's story

Uriah Urlington of Utica, Utah, was an ugly kid. His ears stood out like stop signs, his cheeks were pockmarked, his nose was pointed, and his coal-black eyes seemed to stare right through other students. Still, “Ugly Uriah,” as he was called, was a good student and loved sports, especially baseball. When he tried out for the team, Coach Ulysses Urbanek chose him as a catcher, not only because he never failed to catch pitches but also because the catcher’s mask hid his face.

Surprisingly, Uriah was the team’s spark plug. He applauded his teammates when they performed well and cheered them up when they played poorly. His teammates trusted him because they knew that if a runner tried to steal home plate, he would be ready, even when the runner smashed into him, hoping he would drop the ball, which never happened. Uriah was tough, and his teammates knew that he always gave his best effort, especially against strong opponents.

Uriah’s eyes were extremely sharp, allowing him to not just glimpse a pitched ball when he was at bat but also see its threads so that he could tell whether it was spinning vertically or horizontally. Then, he used the spin to help place a pitch wherever an outfielder was out of position. For instance, if the ball was spinning right to left, Umberto would know by seeing the threads that if he hit it behind the batter’s box, it would bounce off the bat and zoom to left field.

Ulrich Ulberton, a National Baseball League scout, was watching a game and was amazed by Umberto’s ability to analyze pitches instantly and hit them so as to take advantage of the ball’s spin. He invited the lad to attend the league’s umpire tryouts. “Young man, anyone who can see pitches as well as you can will be an outstanding umpire. Umberto agreed and was offered a great job that paid a large salary.

Like catchers, umpires wore a protective mask, making Uriah’s ugly face unnoticeable. Then, a beautiful thing happened: He was umpiring a women’s softball tournament in which teams were competing for the national championship. Although he was ashamed to be around so many attractive young girls, he comforted himself with the certainty that the mask hid his face.

When Ursula Umora stepped into the batter’s box, Umberto was shocked. She, too, had a totally unattractive face. Strangely, the girl allowed two strikes to swoosh by without even swinging. Then she pointed the bat at the right field stands. As soon as the ball left the pitcher’s hands, she quickly determined its spin and smashed a homerun hit into the stands, exactly where she had pointed. After the game, Uriah spoke to her.

When Ursula saw Uriah’s face, she knew that he was destined to be her man. They got married and had beautiful children, all of whom became excellent baseball players. Best of all, they resembled neither their mother nor their father: Ugly Uriah.

NOTE: Jimmy Reed is a retired college professor and author of several books. This story is from his latest, a children’s book entitled FROM A TO Z, TO YOU FROM ME. Each story in the book maximizes the use of an alphabetical letter, enhanced by alliteration and assonance. The book is available on Amazon, or can be purchased directly from the author. His email address is jimmycecilreedjr@gmail.com