When did the word “Negotiate” become the New Synonym for “Surrender”?

Being too old to have enjoyed the benefits of being educated using what is euphemistically referred to as “Common Core”, some of us might not be aware that in addition to seismic alterations in performing simple mathematical calculations (such as figuring out how much change to give someone when they try to pay for a burger with a twenty dollar bill), we might not be cognizant that the actual language of our country has also been changed.

Fortunately the recent meetings held in Lausanne, Switzerland, to discuss the possession of fissionable materials by the Islamic Republic of Iran offered us a great instructive moment. As children we misunderstood the actual meaning of the word “negotiate” and operated throughout our childhoods thinking that the word meant there was a certain amount of give and take in an attempt to ease a difference of goals or opinions. Thanks to our President, Barack Hussein Obama, I am embarrassed that I now have to say “Silly me!” Under the new meaning of the word negotiate, I finally begin to understand what was going on in Switzerland. Iran, a nation with a long history of domination by religious zealots who feel that they should not simply rule the former Persian empire, but think that the Persian empire should be recreated and rule not only the current Islamic Republic, but the rest of the entire world as well.

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But being as brilliant as these ayatollahs, mullahs, imams (or whatever else they are known as), are fully aware that Iran, as currently constituted, really doesn’t have the power to force the capitulation of the rest of the planet to their whims. Recently, as if to prove this, Iran’s Quds Force volunteered to help Iraq retake the city of Tikrit which had recently been conquered by ISIS. That military outing didn’t fare too well until the Iranians were forced to back off from the front lines and allowed the Iraqis, along with American air forces, to actually accomplish something. Because of this lack of 21st century military power and a shortfall of economic strength within a country without the technological prowess to compete with Apple, IBM, Boeing or Chuckie Cheese, they leaped to the conclusion that the simplest way for them to achieve their dreams of world domination would be by having nuclear weapons to threaten everyone else. Fortunately for them, their solution for their problem seems to have come up just as America (as well as the rest of the P5+1 “negotiators”) were led by a President who initially studied in Indonesia, and might have had a faulty English-to-Indonesian dictionary. Perhaps the translation of the word “negotiate” is similar to the word “surrender” in Indonesian. Oops! Now I will admit that this might very well be wrong, and be based only on the improbable explanation of Barack Obama wanting to damage America and benefit Iran at the expense of every non-Muslim person on earth. I mean, really, who could accept the idea that our President, as the smartest guy ever elected to anything, might make such an idiotic decision and risk the very existence of his own nation to the whims of irrational religious zealots?