My favorite gushing-over-Hillary pieces are the ones that rush headlong into the absurd. That is not to say any pro-Hillary piece fails to be absurd. A pro-Hillary piece is absurd by definition. But those in the liberal intelligensia have to constantly try to one-up each other in setting the standard for Hillary-adoring blather, and on first glance I thought Sally Kohn's piece in the Daily Beast would be hard to top.
In fact, now that I read it, it's even more absurd than I first thought. She actually has problems with Hillary, mainly that she is too centrist (a problem Kohn also has with Obama, which should tell you everything you need to know about Kohn), and of course there's that whole problem with the Clinton brand getting kind of stale now. But that's not going to stop Sally in her quest to find something exalted and anoint Hillary for it. As you can see here, far from it:
But Hillary is too great a talent and voice to go unused. And she clearly has too much fight and force left in her to just follow the fading path of philanthropy laid out by her husband. Plus if Hillary showed us nothing else, it’s her extraordinary vision and impact as a global statesman. Which is precisely what we need in the world right now, a strong head of a strong global body that can collectively hold rogue nations accountable and spread opportunity and prosperity worldwide. Like the United Nations if the U.N. had even more accountability and heft and teeth. Added bonus: Taking such a position would help breathe life into the perennial vast right-wing conspiracy theory about “world government,” and we know how Hillary likes vast right-wing conspiracies!
Hillary Clinton has already visited an insane number of countries during her tenure as secretary of State, so she could ostensibly phone it in for the first few years of her global presidency. Plus let’s be honest, since most Americans probably don’t know many of those countries exist let alone where to find them on a map, Hillary’s prodigious global knowledge would be wasted on our domestic electorate. Hillary describes her own tenure at State, “I thought it was essential that as we restore America’s standing in the world and strengthen our global leadership again, we needed what I took to calling ‘smart power’ to elevate American diplomacy and development and reposition them for the 21st century.” By the same token, there is clearly a need to restore Kenya and Indonesia and Mexico’s standing in the world, too, and expand development and opportunity there and in countless other places. In particular, a global Hillary presidency would do much to empower women and girls worldwide, both in symbolic and tangible ways through investment projects, a strategic way to improve development standards for all.
About that "extraordinary vision" as a global statesman, uh, if I could just ask: What exactly is that vision? If Hillary has a clear vision for the direction of the globe, I've certainly never heard it. I know she racked up a lot of frequent-flyer miles, because in order to brag about how many places you've visited, you actually have to go. (Coming under sniper fire, on the other hand, you're free to make up.) But substantive vision? Ideas? Solutions to problems? Any day now, oh great political talent.
But the same is true on the domestic front. The next innovative policy idea we hear from Hillary will be the first, but then again why do you need to give a rip about domestic policy if you're going to be president of the universe?
Come to think of it, she wouldn't need to wait until 2016 for this, right? She could just declare herself the leader of all that exists right here and now. The media might go along with it. Bill could get on board with meeting exotic people in exotic places, if you know what I mean, and when the high exalted world government fails to achieve much of anything, she can always take a page out of Obama's book and blame George W. Bush, since he messed things up so badly when he was president of the universe.
This is not the most illogical thing I've ever heard. A completely illusory ambition for a woman whose entire political persona is every bit as illusory. She's really owed it, don't you think?
