Because no one demanded it, CNN announces Bernie Sanders town hall for Jan. 9

Bernie Sanders, the former presidential candidate who was calling Hillary Clinton a corrupt, corporatist who was unfit for the job a week before he endorsed her, is not ready to wander off to his new beach house just yet. He's determined to extend his 15 minutes into at least a half an hour, and CNN wants to help. The ratings-challenged network has decided it can drag itself out of the cable news basement by giving disgruntled voters two more hours to "feel the Bern."

We know you're excited, so here are the details per CNN:

Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders will participate in a prime-time CNN Town Hall next week just as the Republican-controlled 115th Congress and President-elect Donald Trump begin to roll out their agendas. Sanders, the progressive icon who challenged Hillary Clinton for the Democratic presidential nomination, will sit down with CNN's Chris Cuomo. The one-hour event will be held at George Washington University on January 9 at 9 p.m. ET and will air on CNN, CNN International and CNN en Español. It also will be live-steamed online and across mobile via CNNgo and CNN SiriusXM channel 116.Sanders will take questions on major issues facing the nation and will discuss the Democratic strategy for dealing with Trump's administration.

Topics are expected to include:

• "Why Hillary was awesome."
• "Spicy foods Eh, not for me!"
• "Why Trump is the devil."
• "Was Karl Marx too fiscally conservative?"
• "My lawn, and why you should get off it."
• "You probably shouldn't have to pay for cars, but that's the way it is."
• "In my day men wore garters to hold up their socks."
• "How elderly socialists became the young, fresh, face of the DNC."

If when all of that gets boring, maybe they can just run these clips on a loop for an hour or so. Oh, by the way, no one will watch this. CNN has lost its collective mind.

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