Blago-a-go-go: Suckin’ Up to Da Man

In the ongoing Blago-a-go-go, the sage of the Governor whose aborted attempts to sell a U.S. Senate seat for money, profit and high falutin' job opportunities for himself and his family, we see ex-Governor Rod Blagojevich taking a little time out from his busy radio and TV star schedule to visit the court rooms of the Richard J. Daley building in beautiful downtown Chicago.

Blago has been yelling from the rooftops that the prosecution should "play all the tapes" to prove that he, Blago, is innocent as the driven snow. Today Judge James B. Zagel (Reagan appointee, 1987) shot down Blago's demands and said that he is the one that will determine what tapes will be played and what won't. "I will not allow the time of these jurors to be needlessly consumed," Zagel said. Zagel also scolded Blago saying he would not allow any "legal head butts" to take place in his courtroom. From what I can tell, Zagel has a pretty good reputation as a solid operator among members of the court. After the session was over Blago briefly spoke to the press. His reply was a hilarious performance filled with a retinue of Blagoisms that simply must be interpreted for full enjoyment. So, below is a full explanation of what Blago meant behind every sunny phrase of BS (that would be Blago Speak as seen in red): "OK, thanks for being here. I'll be brief. Let me say that I, I'm grateful, I'm very relieved.CRAP I LOST THIS ROUND, BUT I WILL TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I WON I want to begin by saying I believe that Judge Zagel appears to be a very fair man, a very thoughtful man, and he's obviously well schooled in the law. MAYBE IF I BUTTER THIS TWERP UP HE'LL BE MY FRIEND I'm relieved in what the judge had to say today with regard to giving me a chance to play the taped conversations that matter will show that I've done nothing wrong and prove my innocence. YEAH, I KNOW HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING OF THE KIND, BUT I'M SPINNING FOR MY LIFE HERE, MAN! So I'm just delighted and grateful and relieved for what the judge decided and suggested we do.YEAH, I'M BS'IN YA, YOU KNOW IT AND I KNOW IT, BUT MAYBE THE PEOPLE LISTENING ARE TOO STUPID TO ‘GET' THAT?"

The crap that comes out of this man's mouth is unbelievable. But, haven't we all known a guy like this. He's the one that never broke the window, the kid that never took a cookie from the cookie jar, the guy whose imaginary friend was always the one to blame because he, well HE was totally innocent. Rod Blagojevich really does have some major issues, doesn't he?