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Bowl Cut Jr. had a ‘slush fund’ for running the country—he’s blown it all on fuel for missile tests

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By —— Bio and Archives January 29, 2018

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Bowl Cut Jr. had a 'slush fund' for running the country--he's blown it all on fuel for missile tests
The day comes when the unstable, maniacal dictator decides it’s enough already, and he’s going to fire a nuclear missile at the United States. Oh sure, they’ll probably destroy him in return, but he’s fat and stupid and his people hate him anyway. What is he clinging to?

So he reaches for that big red button he tells us about, the one on his desk, and presses it. Good bye, America!

Oh. We’re sorry, Dear Leader. The missile didn’t launch. It seems we’ve run out of missile fuel.

The perils of being the dictator of a backwards country with virtually no economy, in which the only way to get any money is to extort it out of other countries by acting crazy and then promising to stop for awhile if they pay up. And then, once you’ve built yourself up a slush fund that you can use to keep the savages away from your door for awhile, you go and do something dumb like us it all up on fuel for repeated missile tests!

What a bad, bad dictator!

Two Chinese sources with ties to top North Korean government officials told Radio Free Asia that Kim has nearly exhausted his slush fund due to missile and nuclear weapon and tests, as well as vanity projects, such as the much-publicized Masikryong Ski Resort.

“Due to Kim Jong Un’s extravagant spending, the slush fund from his father, Kim Jong Il, is running out,” one of the sources told the news agency. “It won’t be easy to control North Korea’s high-level executives, who are [cunning] like raccoons.”

The source said he is “well-acquainted” with Office No. 39, a shadowy organization under the ruling North Korean Workers’ Party that generates up to a billion dollars annually for Kim and his cronies through illicit activities, including counterfeiting and drug production.

Around 100,000 North Koreans working abroad also send back around $500 million in earnings annually, Radio Free Asia reported, citing a U.N. estimate.

“I heard them worrying about insufficient funds in Office No. 39 a number of times,” the source added, noting that four of the six nuclear tests carried out by North Korea have been done under Kim’s watch. The dictator, infamously dubbed “rocket man” by President Trump, has also overseen 20 missile tests, Radio Free Asia reported.

Hmm. Maybe the only reason Bowl Cut Jr.‘s remained in power this long is because he controlled this slush fund from his ronery father. Once his power of the purse becomes irrelevant - because the purse is empty - it might be possible for the people around him to stage a coup that actually works. Maybe there are people close to the levers of power in North Korea who would actually like to see their country rejoin the community of civilized nations given the opportunity to do so. But first they have to get their petulant tyrant out of the way.

A guy can dream, can’t he? People who come upon money they didn’t earn never manage it as well as those who had to work hard for it. That’s why so many lottery winners end up in bankruptcy. Found money doesn’t change your life because it doesn’t change you.

I wonder if papa saw this day coming when he gave us this musical gift to the world:

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