Entire California town weirded out by mysterious creepy clowns

By Dan Calabrese —— Bio and Archives October 13, 2014

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The normal ones are creepy enough. These things are just downright horrifying. Have fun, Bakersfield:

Keep in mind, this expression of horror concerning these creepy clowns comes from a guy who loves David Lynch films. My stomach is not lacking in constitution. But clowns? Eh. I think it's bad enough when people put on fake smiles using their real facial features, hiding the emotional turmoil and anguish just beneath the surface. Use greasy paint to do it, especially on the presumption that you're going to entertain children with that slop? No, dude. Just no. And once you've finally gone all the way and made the clown angry and menacing, then sent him off to roam around town under darkness of night for no reason whatsoever, well, I'm pretty sure that when Satan is unloosed for a little season after being bound for 1,000 years, this is what it will look like. So, Bakersfield friends, if you see this creeps . . . yeah, I got nothing. Anything I suggest will either get you killed or arrested. Maybe you should just move to Michigan. Our clowns take their orders from the UAW, but at least you know what to do with that.