Planned Parenthood finally finds a worthy ally - the Satanic Temple of Detroit

Back in high school, they hung out behind the gym, comparing Bauhaus t-shirts, smoking, and despising the "phony corporate trappings of post-war suburban America." Then they (sort-of) grew up. It quickly became clear that they were too dysfunctional to succeed in the real world, so they had to create their own reality. Thus, the Satanic Temple of Detroit was born - an organization designed to give 25-year-old goth kids something to do when they aren't working at the T-Mobile store.

Keep in mind, these "satanists" don't really believe in Satan. They don't actually "believe" in anything. Their movement really boils down to secular atheism, but they like to dress it up in the trappings of a religion and use it to troll normal people. They hold meetings in abandoned warehouses, enjoy laughable sculptures, and mock the rest of us. Basically, they've realized the power of irony coupled with the First Amendment, and they're pushing their schtick as far as they can. To that end, they went out this weekend and engaged in a little street theater. You see, the Satanists love Planned Parenthood, and they want to show that support however they can. In this case, "however they can" meant dressing up like idiots, standing in the middle of a pro-life demonstration, and dumping milk on women as a form of "pro-choice counter protest." Here's the video: Oh wait, sorry, that's not the video. That's an old SNL sketch called "Goth Talk" featuring Chris Kattan. It can be tough to discern the comedy from reality, because Saturday Night Live really nailed the look and self-important attitude of the "Temple" members. We'll get the real video running in a second. First, here's the Washington Examiner report on the goth kid's stunt.

Members of the Satanic Temple drew inspiration for their "political theatre" from the nationwide anti-Planned Parenthood protests Saturday. Tens of thousands showed up to protest Planned Parenthood at over 300 locations across the country after a series of undercover videos revealed the abortion giant was harvesting and selling fetal organs and tissue.

"The Satanic Temple strongly opposes the promotion of misinformation and believes that all people are entitled to make informed decisions about their health, family and future without coercion," says the group's web site. "We consider our action a form of worship; the rejection of tyranny is an affirmation of selfhood. So long as perverted theocratic systems of power attempt to manipulate our communities and distort truths for political gain, we will rebel." After they “rebel,” they'll probably head over to the food court for a five dollar footlong and a bag of Sun Chips. Then it's off to work, because Larry can be a real ballbreaker if you're late for your shift. We're sure Planned Parenthood is proud to have the support of such rarified intellectuals.

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