So Close, But A Fake Cigar

This is a sad story, but it didn’t have to be one. This is a story of an overreaction by an anal-retentive school administration that robbed some high school students of the memory of a lifetime.

Ipswich High School, which is located in Massachusetts, had a hell of a men’s lacrosse team. They had reached the final four as they were striving to become state champions. On Tuesday, they were scheduled to play a semifinal game against Cohasset. They had just won their previous 3 games by a combined 39 goals.

The seniors had their graduation between the quarterfinals and semifinals, and they did what almost every group of high school graduates does: they grabbed a pack of cigars and took a fun group photo together. It’s as ordinary as it gets—a group of 18-year-old kids, fresh out of high school, posing with cigars in their mouths.

If you notice, none of the cigars even appear to be lit. This was nothing more than a bunch of guys who were happy they had graduated and were making a memory on film. They weren’t breaking any laws; it was all for fun.

But as you know, far too many adults can’t find joy in any aspect of life. This annoyed some of what must be an incredibly tight-assed administration, because they suspended the boys in the picture, which meant the team that had worked all year to get to this point didn’t have enough players and was forced to forfeit the game.

MIAA rules have strict guidelines regarding tobacco, stating:

“A student shall not, regardless of the quantity, use, consume, possess, buy/sell, or give away … any tobacco product (including e-cigarettes, vape pens, and all similar devices); marijuana (including synthetic).”

Once the principal confirms the infraction and after the student possibly voices their case, the minimum penalty calls for the student to:

“lose eligibility for the next consecutive interscholastic contests (regular season and tournament) totaling 25 percent of all interscholastic contests in that sport.”

The school’s website includes a statement, as of Wednesday morning, explaining that it made the call to forfeit the matchup due to a lack of eligible bodies.

“Ipswich High School was very excited to have its boys lacrosse team advance to the Division 4 State Semifinals that was scheduled for Tuesday evening at 6 pm.”

“The team and coaching staff decided that due to the shortage of available players that it was in the best interest of the team to forfeit the game. We congratulate all of our players and coaches on a great season and for advancing to the Final Four.”

If you are reading this and feel anger rising up inside you, get in line. This is the most disgraceful display of power-mongering over a group of high school athletes that doesn’t involve allowing a male to play on a girls' team in recent memory.

They robbed these boys of a once-in-a-lifetime treasured memory, all because they wanted to prove that they had the power to do it.

Still, as bad as this is, it gets even worse.

The cigars weren’t even real.

John Gianakakis’ son participated in the photo. He told CBS that his child and several teammates asked for help to set up the photo without using tobacco and violating the rules.

He reportedly used painters' tape to create the fake cigars in question.

According to CBS, John Gianakakis told them:

“A cigar shop worker told me that you can use banana leaves. You can use chamomile and stuff like that, and cigar wrappers. They tried them. It was horrible. They burned fast. It was windy. It was dried paper and tea. A real cigar will last an hour to two hours depending on the caliber. Those kids would have been sick as dogs if they smoked what they smoked in the pictures. Light a newspaper or paper towel on fire, and it would go whoosh. It’s the same thing.”

After hearing about the decision, Gianakakis told the school principal, Jonathan Mitchell, that the cigars had been fake. He even brought one of the fake stogies and a receipt as evidence.

He alleged that Mitchell called the cigar shop to verify whether Gianakakis had called about fake cigars, and then gave him some good news.

Gianakakis told CBS, “Mr. Mitchell looked me in the eyes, sat me down and said, ‘John, these kids are cleared to play.'”

Gianakakis added that the athletes practiced that day, but the superintendent’s office wanted a deeper dive into the matter.

Then, after the pinheads got involved, the school informed the athletes they had been barred around 10 a.m. ET on Tuesday.

Board member Greg Stevens told CBS that several board members attempted to convince the administration to let the athletes play, citing some wiggle room in the rules.

Sadly, the players reportedly boarded the bus, but parents told CBS the students had to exit the vehicle because the MIAA ruled Ipswich had forfeited.

This was the school’s decision, and the MIAA wanted it to be known that they were not involved.

Kat Cornetta posted on X:

According to MIAA Executive Director Dr. Bob Baldwin on @WEEI

Right now, on the Ipswich boys’ lacrosse decision:

"This never came to the MIAA, and it was not our decision. The school decided on the forfeit...We have to respect the decision made at the local level."

I hope these parents are angry enough to file lawsuits against the administrators who pushed for this unfair outcome. These individuals can no longer claim to prioritize their students' well-being. They not only didn’t argue on their behalf, but they also threw them under the bus themselves.

MIAA wanted nothing to do with this horrible decision.

Now a group of seniors are left to wonder what could have been. Thanks to this administration’s decision, they will never know.

Milt spent thirty years as a sales and operations manager for an international manufacturing company. He is also a four-time published author on a variety of subjects. Now, he spends most of his time researching and writing about conservative politics and liberal folly.