WhatFinger

Nobel Prize-winning author William Faulkner

Defining A Man’s Life

By Jimmy Reed ——--August 31, 2012

American Politics, News | CFP Comments | Reader Friendly | Subscribe | Email Us

Every now and then, someone tries defining a man’s life. One of the Twentieth Century’s greatest literary figures, Nobel Prize-winning author William Faulkner, once summed up any man’s life in eight words: “He was born, he suffered, and he died.”
When asked to define how man’s ephemeral peregrination from dust to dust differs from that of all other creatures, another of America’s literary giants, Mark Twain, replied, “Man is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the true religion — several of them.” Another definition of a man’s life separates it into four stages: First, he does believe in Santa Claus; second, he does not believe in Santa Claus; third, he is Santa Claus; and fourth, he looks like Santa Claus. Now that I have evolved through the first three stages and am mutating into a jolly old St. Nick look-alike in the fourth stage, I can verify that this definition is quite accurate.
Recently, an old friend sent me yet another definition of Homo sapiens’ meander through mortality. It goes something like this:
On the first day, God created the dog, and commanded, “Sit on your master’s porch all day and bark at anyone who comes into the yard. For this, I will give you a lifespan of twenty years.”
 The dog complained, “Lord, that’s a mighty long time to do nothing but lounge on the porch and bark. How about only ten years, and I'll give back the other ten?” God agreed. 
 On day two, God created the monkey, and commanded, “Perform stunts that entertain people and make them laugh. For this, I will give you a twenty-year lifespan.”
 Wrinkling his furry brow, the primate said, “That’s an awfully long time to act like an ape — just to entertain folks. May I return ten years, as the dog did?” God agreed. On day three, God created the mule, and said, “For sixty years, you will go to the field with the farmer every day and toil sunup to sundown to support his family.”
 The mule mumbled, “That’s a tough life — especially for sixty years. How about I return forty years, and just toil twenty?” God agreed.
 On the fourth day, God created man, and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry, and enjoy life. You can do this for twenty years.”
 “Only twenty?” the man whined. “Would it be possible to give me my twenty, the forty returned by the mule, the ten by the monkey, and the ten by the dog? Then I would have an eighty-year lifespan.” Wagging His head knowingly, God agreed.

So … that is why, during his first twenty years, a man eats, sleeps, plays, and enjoys himself; for the next forty years he labors endlessly to support his family; then, for ten years, he performs monkey tricks to entertain his grandchildren; and finally, for ten years, he slouches on the front porch and barks at everyone. I suppose that is as good a stab as any at defining a man’s life.

Support Canada Free Press

Donate
Subscribe

View Comments
Jimmy Reed——

Jimmy Reed is an Oxford, Mississippi resident, Ole Miss and Delta State University alumnus, Vietnam Era Army Veteran, former Mississippi Delta cotton farmer and ginner, author, and retired college teacher.

This story is a selection from Jimmy Reed’s latest book, entitled The Jaybird Tales.

Copies, including personalized autographs, can be reserved by notifying the author via email (.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)).

VIEW Comments

Sponsored