Folksy home-spun everyman creeper, Joe Biden, says he would have 'beat the hell' out of Donald Trump in high school

When Hillary Clinton wants you to think "she's just like you," she busts out her southern revival accent or eats at Chipotle. When Obama wanted you to think he was just a "regular fella" he'd get a burger and beer that his wife supposedly disapproved of. Virtually every out-of-touch politician has some contrived way of trying to make it seem that they're just one of the down-to-Earth "real people" they hope to rule with an iron fist. Joe Biden has two such crutches.

The first is the word "man." Whenever he wants to sound like he really understands that blue-collar crowd he claims to love, he says "man" - a lot. Often, he'll use it as an intro to whatever ludicrous statement he wants to make sure you hear, like “They gonna put y'all back in chains!" His other go-to is "getting tough." If Joe wants you to think he loves the 2nd Amendment, he starts yakking about firing shotguns into the night sky. When he wants you to know he's better than the other guy, he talks about beating him up. Back in 2016 he told an interviewer he'd like to take a nice big swing at then-candidate Trump and, just this week, he tried to stay relevant by saying it again.

Speaking during an anti-sexual assault rally at the private university in Coral Gables, the Democrat mentioned Mr. Trump’s infamous “Access Hollywood” recording that captured the real estate mogul talking in 2005 about being able to get away with groping women because of his fame. “A guy who ended up becoming our national leader said, ‘I can grab a woman anywhere and she likes it,’” Mr. Bidentold the crowd. “They asked me if I’d like to debate this gentleman, and I said ‘no.’ I said, ‘If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.’ “I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life,” he continued. “I’m a pretty damn good athlete. Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest S.O.B. in the room.”

OK, I'll admit, that last line is pretty good, and usually true. However, the idea that Joe Biden is going to lecture anyone about getting "handsy" is absolutely hilarious. After all, we have ...this:

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Even the Huffington Post and New York Magazine have noticed "creepy" Uncle Joe's behavior. Maybe Biden should just stick to his other lines. You know, like the ones about how you need an Indian accent to work in a 7-Eleven

Ehhhhh....maybe not.