Hack musician cancels concert because men can't use the ladies' room

There is good news concerning Bruce Springsteen. Now I'm sure you're wondering, "Good news concerning Bruce Springsteen? That seems like a logical impossibility, unless he migrated to Pluto or something." Well. The news isn't quite that good. But it's very good for the people of Greensboro, North Carolina, who don't have to tolerate the presence of a man who a) can't sing, play music or write songs to save his life; and b) thinks women should have to put up with male perverts coming into ladies' rooms on the thin premise that they "identify as female."

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So hackneyed, cliche-ridden and horrific is the music of one Bruce Springsteen, it is truly a testament to the power of groupthink and suggestion that millions of Americans who can somehow figure out how to breathe have nevertheless been convinced the man is some sort of musical genius. It's like that time Tom Sawyer got all his friends to whitewash the fence for him by pretending he thought it was fun. I guess you can lead people into anything, and it's been very easy for a generation to convince American males careening headlong into midlife crisis that Bruce Springsteen is some sort of icon for their souls, you know what I mean, man? But why stop there? Now that you've all bought him as source of musical talent, why not also take his cue on social and moral concerns? You rubes who think a public ladies' room should be for real ladies and not twisted males hoping for a peek at the goods (whether yours or your seven-year-old daughters)? You backwards clods! The Boss has a problem with you!

The legendary musician announced Friday that his upcoming show in Greensboro, North Carolina, has been canceled in "solidarity" with those protesting the measure. Springsteen and his E Street Band were slated to perform at the Greensboro Coliseum this Sunday. The roughly 15,000 ticketholders will all be eligible for a refund. The newly enacted law requires individuals to use bathrooms that correspond to the gender on their birth certificate, and has drawn fierce criticism for excluding legal protections from gay and transgender people. "To my mind, it's an attempt by people who cannot stand the progress our country has made in recognizing the human rights of all of our citizens to overturn that progress," Springsteen said in a statement.

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I actually do think there is good news here. If Springsteen can only sell 15,000 tickets to a concert, people are starting to figure this out. I'm sure those 15,000 people will find something better to do that night, like sit home and watch something with Guy Fieri in it, or eat liver, or listen to Hillary Clinton speeches. The absurdity we've reached as a culture almost exceeds my ability to lampoon it. Very confused people decide they can change their own sex merely by declaring how they "identify," and not only does society accept this, but celebrities make a show of refusing to perform in places where non-insane people are protected from the worst possible abuses of such nonsense. I'd say Springsteen is whitewashing the fence too. Even three years ago, he is probably as opposed as anyone else to the madness that's happening now. But only because that's the prevailing thought. Let the prevailing thought change, and he goes right along with it, because he has no more ability to recognize cultural madness than he does to recognize good music - which should tell you everything you need to know here. If only the rest of the nation could catch the same break Greensboro just got.

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