WhatFinger


Voracious sexual appetite, Serial sexual harasser

Herman Cain has been sexually harassing me for years!



-Satire- Herman Cain is a serial sexual harasser of the worst kind. All those women who have come forward complaining about his voracious sexual appetite are only the tip of the iceberg. Their complaints are nothing compared to what Cain has been doing to me for the past twenty-two years. He’s been relentlessly harassing me, sexually, and nothing I do can get him to stop.
Now, it’s true that Herman Cain and I have never met, nor have we, you know, actually communicated in any way. But he’s harassing me sexually and has been for many years. I can see it in his eyes when he’s debating the other candidates, his lustful glances into the eye of the television camera, seeking me out among those millions watching the debates. I know that he wants me and nothing I do seems to deter his relentless sexual hunger. But then, it’s understandable. I mean Senator Harry Reid showed that he had a very good understanding of coloreds when he talked about his own preference for “light skinned” blacks “with no Negro dialect.” Certainly Herman Cain isn’t light skinned, nor does he not have a Negro dialect. In fact, he sounds like he’s straight out of the ‘hood,’ wherever that is. And that’s the point. It’s the “Mandingo” thing with these dark-skinned Negroes. You just can’t trust them, sexually, I mean. Senator Reid will tell you.

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I would have come forward much sooner to complain, but I felt ashamed, sullied, even tarnished and making Herman Cain’s sexual pursuit of me public is demeaning. But then I took heart when all those women came forward to report their own demeaning experiences with Herman Cain and am now fully going public because he must be stopped. How would it look if the Republicans ran a candidate against The President that had darker skin and more Negroid features than the President? It would make it really difficult to accuse them of being racist and besides, one Negro running for President is quite enough. I understand how all those women that Herman Cain harassed must feel, because I’m sure I feel the same way. During the debates he was making gestures that made me feel very um, uncomfortable. I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but some of those gestures were totally obscene. When he talked about that ‘9-9-9’ thing he pointed most suggestively and moved his lips in such a way to make me feel anxious and ill-at-ease. I suspect there are a whole lot of others just like me who have been sexually harassed by Herman Cain for years or maybe even decades. I hope they, like me and all those women, will come forward and put an end to Herman Cain’s relentless serial sexual harassment. I wonder if I can get a settlement from the National Restaurant Association?


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Klaus Rohrich -- Bio and Archives

Klaus Rohrich is senior columnist for Canada Free Press. Klaus also writes topical articles for numerous magazines. He has a regular column on RetirementHomes and is currently working on his first book dealing with the toxicity of liberalism.  His work has been featured on the Drudge Report, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, among others.  He lives and works in a small town outside of Toronto.

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