It's Been 5 Months

I know that each and every one of us must go through passing from this life to death. I also know that when this passing occurs, prior to that…we have a choice to make in our lives.

This simply being, eternal death, or, eternal life.

I’m very proud this morning to state that I know, undoubtedly, that my Deb, through her deep conviction and belief that Jesus Christ did in fact die on the cross to wash away OUR sin, she simply went to sleep 5 months ago, then awoke…in the presence of God.

What a comfort to me personally, this is.

We started this site at the end of Jan, 2011, because of Judi and Brian, and the Canada Free Press. Little did we know what a blessing these two had instilled in our lives. By this, as I sit here this morning, I’m struck by the fact once again, of how God does work mysteriously in our lives.

Judi, Brian…I love you guys! Deb did too, by the way!

Deb and I were having such a good time cutting up with you guys, and as you can see from some of her posts early on…she was quite the character too!

She used to tell me how blessed we were with this site because in some of her writings she’d talk of growing up. This made her so happy, because through these memories, she got caught up, once again, in days gone by.

She loved sharing these memories of hers, and she stated in some of her posts that she sincerely hoped that by reading of her past, that this indeed would evoke fond memories of your own!

Shortly after starting this site though, in April, actually April 1st (April Fools Day, believe that?) Deb was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. We were told…it WAS terminal, and that there’d be no cure.

For those that know, I won’t get into the rest of this story, I’ve told it before…for those that don’t, here’s the link.

Speaking of this story, I attended a good friend’s surprise birthday party last Saturday.

Anyway, I met a guy, John, and we got to talking there at the table. Imagine that, me wanting to talk? Usually I’m the quiet, reserved guy sittin around saying nothing! LOL!

Anyway, somehow we got on the topic of Deb. I mentioned that Deb had chosen alternative treatment, and had decided against chemo after her first treatment. He then asked me to tell him the story.
I did.

Come to find out, his own wife had been through “the cancer thing” herself, a couple years back. It was found VERY early, they had a single mastectomy, and had had, no trouble since. Praise God, huh?

Well, by now the table is filling and John’s wife comes up and sits down.

John now says, “Share your story with my wife please.”

I look at John and go, “You’re killin me here John.”

He then apologizes, but I say okay, here goes…again.

Good night, I started once more, and dad-gummit, I was teary-eyed on a few occasions. The WHOLE table was listening, and I’m actin like a “titty-baby.” LOL!

Let me say this very quickly though…I’ve LEARNED…showing emotion is not a bad thing at all. At first it used to embarrass me to no end, but now…I could care less. Ain’t nothing but a thing!

They told me I could stop, but I said, “No, just give me a minute and I’ll be fine,” and I was. BUT, I also told them that this was the LAST time I’d be telling it today!

Deb’s story was, and still is such a story of inspiration, and by doing what SHE knew, in her heart, that this was indeed the way God had instructed her in this regard. To be honest…I HAVE to tell it from time to time.

I feel…it NEEDS to be told!

When Deb passed, the first couple three weeks, were very hard. I could NOT focus on anything. I’d start a project to stay busy…only to lose interest in it altogether. That’d be the end of that.
Then I came to the realization that I MUST start over…I had to focus once again on living life.

My entire character is built upon the “pedal to the metal” mentality. I’ve always believed that once I “stepped into the ring of life,” I’d take a few shots, BUT, this mentality also instilled into me that although I may indeed take a few shots, before I left the ring, I’d have chunked a few more than I took!

So, away I went. I’d put this loss behind me, and everything would be just fine. Deb had told me on numerous occasions… “LIVE LIFE! GO ON, with YOUR life, and I’ll always be there, in your heart, to help fill the void if anything ever happens to me!”

She has! She does every day!

I still have my days, plus, looking back now, I did some awfully stupid things after her passing, thinking the whole time that I was acting quite sanely, but at times I was acting quite the opposite, actually.
Only now am I getting things really back into perspective.

Grief, I’m finding out, is a come and go thing. One minute you’re feeling as if you’ve got “the bull by the horns” again, only to figure out shortly thereafter, that you ain’t even grabbing the bull at the end WITH THE HORNS!

You go through some pretty confusing times.

Anyway, I guess this post today is kinda like a thank you to Deb. She is in fact gone, but she still lives on, in my heart!

It also is a thank you to all the people out there who contacted us throughout our, actually HER ordeal, and wished us the very best. You guys sent such heartwarming condolences, and prayers. I’ll never forget this!

5 months?

This is so odd.

If you put 5 months into your mind, and consider how quickly the weeks pass in our normal, daily routines, it passes so very quickly. As an example, I can’t believe today is Thursday? Seems like Monday… was yesterday.

Do you guys go through this? I guess this comes with age, or at least that’s what I’ve always been told.

Yet this past 5 months in Deb’s regard seem…so, so long ago! It seems like it was back in my distant past. Is that crazy, or what?

I really can’t comprehend it in any other way. I try, but it just seems so long ago? I don’t know?

Strange…

Deb, as most everyone knows by now, had a saying that has always been very dear to her. It simply states, “Keep a smile on your face, AND one in your heart.”

I have to be honest with you all this morning…SHE lived this daily.

No matter what trials or tribulations lay ahead of her, or she was experiencing already, SHE ALWAYS had that smile of hers on her face, and if you knew her, you were very much aware that it was in her heart as well.

It showed constantly! Debbie was truly…a beacon of love.

I’ve been thinking about the holidays. Thanksgiving is just next week. Good night, how will I deal with it when the time comes?

But you know what…I’’ll be fine. I’ve come to realize the Good Lord has blessed me in so many ways. Bringing Debbie into my life is probably the greatest. We had 26 years of Thanksgiving daily! How great is that?

So this is exactly what I’ll be giving thanks for this Thanksgiving. Those 26 years we shared with each other! Our God continually blesses me!

We were so blessed during our lives together, and those last 9 days together were such a blessing as well. Deb was at home with me, and I was able to take total care of her. God was looking after us.

The love we had shared during our lives together was allowed to be a part of our closure as well. I am a very blessed man indeed!

How blessed? Listen to this…

1 Thessalonians 54:15-17

This comes from a letter written by Paul to the Thessalonians…

We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died.

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First the Christians who have died will rise from their graves.
Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.

Then we will be with the Lord forever.

My journey into Christianity again, is only beginning. But I tell you this..I fully intend on being caught up in the clouds and being with our Lord and Savior, hoping as well that I’ll be with Deb once again…eternally.

Then, in verse 18, we are told…

So encourage each other with these words.

This, as Christians, is exactly what God wants us to do. Encourage others. We can make a difference in a persons life, saved, or not, simply through…encouragement.

How hard is that?

In closing today I’d like to share with you guys a video I did, I think about 16 days after Deb’s passing. I don’t think I ever put this up on this site, but only on YouTube. If I did, I apologize.

I know that I had told of Deb’s passing in the post I linked to above, but just like you guys, we have so many friends on YouTube that consoled and prayed for us during that time, I knew I had to let them know about Deb too.

To all you guys out there, this is not about me, but about the love Deb and I shared. It was incredible guys, it really was.

If I could ever bless you guys with anything, it’d be simply for you all, when your time comes, to be able to share with your own spouse, the blessing that Deb and I received. This, just being able to be at home with each other, to comfort and console each other, and to take care of your loved one just as Deb and I were blessed to do.

She would have done the very same for me.

Verse 18 spoke of encouragement, right? Well, hopefully this little story will do exactly that.

God Bless you all, and remember… “Keep a smile on your face, and one in your heart!”

Dub and Deb