Mueller investigation wasn’t a fishing expedition, it was a safari

Democrats don’t see President Trump as a witch or even the enormous fish (arms spread wide to emphasize its size) that got away. House leadership and the deep state operatives have always seen their nemesis as big game to be tracked, shot, delivered to the taxidermist and rendered into a trophy to hang in the Capitol rotunda. This wasn’t a fishing expedition. It was a safari… but the Big Bwana Robert Mueller III failed to snare his quarry. Not for lack of effort pursuing, setting traps and ambushing his prey did he fail to bring down the target. The special counsel and his entourage followed every trail, planted decoys and laid false spoor to corner their victim without success.

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Mueller’s quarry was wary of the hunting party’s every advance and eluded capture by doing the opposite of what his stalkers expected. Staying in the open, surrounded by his parade, the target answered every baited call with a slew of trumpets, providing all evidence of his presence and activity for the last three years. Even so, every shot went awry, managing only to peg outliers in the herd. Still, the big game hunter came back empty-handed and disappointed. That didn’t stop Mueller from unrolling a saga of his monumental exploits, how he doggedly tracked and tricked his quarry but couldn’t deliver the trophy. As his excuse, he created a fiction for the press that a president couldn’t be charged with a criminal offense while in office. Spinning a tale of implied obstruction without ever supplying proof, Mueller tried to justify his wild goose chase with “…If we had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so. We did not, however, make a determination as to whether the president did commit a crime.” The big bwana straightened his safari jacket and left the podium denying defeat but finally giving in by tossing his elephant gun to the expedition’s hapless porters, those House democrats left to carry his water. Moral of the story? It takes more than a passle of asses to bring down a bull elephant. And… there’s a reason why a herd of elephants is sometimes called a “memory.” They don’t forget.

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