Preserving Marriage in a Post-Modern World;
The passing of Gloria Steinham a few weeks back has shone a light on relations between men and women. Gloria and her confederates' view of the role of women is one of competing for position in a "man's" world. The more traditional view for women is that of wife, mother, and homemaker. Much has been written on the destructiveness of the feminist view[1], but that is not the focus of this article.
The biblical view of the relationship between men and women can be found in Genesis chapter 2.
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Men and women are to live together in a married state from whence would come progeny. Unfortunately, into this relationship comes contention. Often, the wife would come to her husband and make a pronouncement seemingly out of the blue. When my wife would do this, it would drive me crazy as there is often no logic, no supporting arguments, just the pronouncement. Coming out of the blue, I would often disregard it. I have learned the hard way the pastor's dictum:
Woe betide the man who ignores his wife.
This is because often she is right.
One would ask “Why would God do this?,” bring together two seemingly incompatible people. This is because we do not understand the true nature of the union, God did not make a mistake in this. He designed men and women to complement one another. Men and women each have strengths and weaknesses. Men's strengths compensate for women's weaknesses and, vice versa, women's strengths compensate for men's weaknesses.
One big difference between men and women is the way they think. This is because men and women's brains are different[2]. While in the womb, men receive a testosterone wash which breaks many of the connections in their brains, breaking it into separate “compartments”. This allows them to focus. Women’s brains remain fully connected; they think wholistically, processing copious amounts of data in parallel in reaching their conclusions. There is no “logical progression” because the elements of the idea are processed in different parts of the brain, all coming together in a final conclusion.
Since the man's brain is compartmentalized, his thinking is ordered in a logical progression, such as “this and this and this therefore that”. Because he thinks this way, he cannot understand where his wife is coming from. This sentiment has found its way into popular entertainment, like the musical “My Fair lady”, where Professor Higgins laments “Why can't a woman be more like a man?”
On the other hand, there is one thing a woman cannot relate to. When a wife enters a room and asks her husband “What are you thinking about?” often he will reply “Nothing”. I can imagine a woman getting frustrated by this answer because, due to the way her brain is wired, she can never think about nothing. However, men have that ability. One of the compartments in a man's brain is just that. It contains nothing at all, and a man can just sit there, thinking about nothing.
The differences between men and women go beyond how we think. Men are stronger; they are the protectors of the family. Women are nurturers and nesters; they build the family. Men are the hunter-providers; women are the gatherer-providers. Men are the leaders of the household. Women provide support. This mandate is outlined in Genesis 3.
Gen 3:6-7 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. 7And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked;
The woman took of the fruit and nothing happened. She ate of the fruit and nothing happened. But, when the man ate of the fruit, everything changed. Nothing happened until the man ate of the fruit. He was to lead and tell the woman no, but he failed. Headship is not to be taken lightly, because with headship comes great responsibility and accountability. Sometimes a highly emotional state can cause a woman to come with an idea that is completely “off the rails”. It is the responsibility of the man to vet her ideas and say “yay” or “nay”, providing stability as the person at the helm.
The family is the jewel in the crown of God's creation. A family with both a father and a mother can provide the protected environment children need to grow and prosper. Strong families are the foundation of a strong society which is why the elites are out to destroy the family. The more dysfunctional the family, the weaker the society and the easier to control. Radical feminism, easy divorce, living together without the benefit of marriage, hedonism, gender dysphoria all contribute to weak families. Post-modernism with its focus on “self” also takes its toll. Post-modern couples enter a marriage looking to see what they can get out of it, instead of looking to see what it is they need to put into it. In contrast, God's plan is that a man and a woman come together and complete one other.
There is an episode of “The Big Bang Theory” called “The Mommy Obsession”[3]. It contains a subplot where Stuart, a friend, comes to visit, walks over to the counter and then drops dead. It is a “Murder Mystery Night” and he is the victim. While the characters are busy trying to figure out who the perpetrator is, the scenario given takes them into the future, where the careers of Leonard and Penny, the two main characters. take them in very different directions. This leads them to wonder what the future holds for their relationship, whether or not they will be able to stay together. Lying on the floor, Stuart chimes in
This is it in a nutshell, “one awesome person”. This is the essence of marriage. The Bible says “they shall be one flesh”, a man and woman coming together, with love and mutual respect, working in full partnership where the strengths of one compensates for the weaknesses of the other, a case of the whole truly being greater than the sum of the parts.
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