Trump’s detractors lobbing unsubstantiated accusations while they fruitlessly search for nonexistent

Straight from a no longer anonymous source-- After a year of turning over every rock and parting the branches of every bush, the source said that President Trump is probably the one individual with the least amount of dirty laundry ever to occupy the White House. Flying overhead, J. Edgar Rostov Kite¹ swooped down to reveal this and other secrets of the universe which he had been studying and perfecting for the last year. At the end of his rope, he admitted going to the extent of concealing himself by the drapes of the Oval Office after Inauguration Day in order to eavesdrop on the new president's secret conversations (a difficult enterprise considering some kites have a wingspan up to six feet). Still, it has all been for naught as Kite's been unable to bury his beak into anything other than his own feathers. Missing his prey, his talons have only clutched the wind. Then, in the midst of all this frustration, he was ignominiously fired from his post.

---

He and his cohorts in the intelligence community and Congress have continually come up empty in their search for evidence to nail Trump to a Russian cross. Affirming how futile the quest has been, Senator Dianne Feinstein again admitted that no evidence has been discovered. In the same breath, however, she spoke with hope that former FBI Director Robert Mueller, now special counsel, might locate what has been impossible to find up to this point-- proof of Trump's collusion with the Russians. A regretful Kite noted that despite all the resources of the FBI, NSA, CIA, the House and Senate and numerous antagonistic media (generally including most of the press) to investigate, no progress has been made. Unable to make a case against Trump, Kite has resorted to unveiling a memo he purportedly made after a Valentine's Day meeting with the president. By keeping the memo concealed that alleges the president alluded to Kite "letting go" a possible investigation of Lt. General Michael Flynn, he seems to be indicting himself for obstruction of justice, the crime that he's levied against his superior. In a sad turn of affairs, all J.E.R. Kite's efforts to exonerate himself appear to be backfiring. By emerging from the shadow of a cloud to make accusations, he seems to have inadvertently disclosed himself to be a White House leak. It's been announced that Kite will again be called before Congress to testify to his activities in the investigation of the president's alleged collusion with Russian agents to win the 2016 election. The ongoing hearings appear to be little more than a political hedge providing cover for President Trump's detractors to lob unsubstantiated accusations while they fruitlessly search for nonexistent evidence. The only proof produced thus far has been that none of Trump's closets contain any skeletons. It's looking like Kite's wings have been clipped.

1. For those who may not remember Jonathan Livingston Seagull (1970), look it up.

---

---

Feinstein: Still No Evidence Of Trump Camp-Russia Collusion

---