FROM A TO Z, TO YOU FROM ME: A big boy beat a bunch of big men;
Even though he was so fat that he looked like a walking jellybean, Tommy Timbo of Timbuktu, Texas, was always happy. His classmates called him “Two-Ton Tommy Timbo”, but they liked the big guy and often shared food with him because he was always hungry. Doctors told his parents not to worry because he would trim down in his teenage years. Besides being overweight, he was in good health and always happy.
When Tommy turned fifteen, he was as fat as ever but had grown much taller. He was head and shoulders above his classmates. Coach Theodore “Tuffy” Tedford assigned Tommy the football team’s center position, which was a huge advantage because defending players could not get around the fat kid and tackle ball carriers. But, being such a large guy, Tommy could not run and was unable to block on running plays beyond the scrimmage line.
One day, when Tommy and his pals were watching television, he flipped through the channels and came upon something he had never seen before: sumo wrestling. Tommy was fascinated. The contestants were built like him — tall, muscular, and weighing as much as four hundred pounds. His buddies exclaimed, “Let’s watch this. Those guys look just like Two-Ton Tommy.”
The announcer explained that Sumo wrestling is a full-contact sport in which two opponents fight inside a circular ring. Unlike boxing, they do not punch each other. To win, one of the participants must force the other wrestler out of the ring or cause a part of his body to touch the floor. Only the soles of the contestants’ feet are allowed to touch the floor. If any other body part of either man did so, he would lose the match.
Tommy’s pals encouraged him to learn the sport. After all, he certainly had the body for it. The youngster contacted the Japan Sumo Association and learned that one of its scouts, Mr. Tamahito Tassarito, was in Houston, Texas, looking for men who might qualify for sumo training. Tommy joined other hopefuls at his studio, all of whom were shocked when they saw Tommy, who was much larger and stronger than any of them.
Mr. Tassarito chose Tommy immediately. After undergoing rigorous training, he became the training master’s pride. “Tommy,” he said, “you and I are going to Japan for the World Champion Sumo Wrestling Contest.” The youngster was a bit frightened. After all, he would compete with the sport’s best wrestlers. Nevertheless, he put his difficult training to work, and on the contest’s last day, he entered the ring with a monster Japanese wrestler nicknamed Terrible Terrifying Toshiko Tokomato.
Each man maneuvered, trying to find the opponent’s weakness. Then it happened. Tommy grasped Toshiko in a secret hold that Mr. Tassarito taught him, and before Toshiko knew what had happened, he was flat on his back — outside the ring! Tommy became the world champion sumo wrestler. When he returned, his hometown had a huge celebration, honoring their favorite son: Two-Ton Tommy Timbo of Timbuktu, Texas.
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