5:00 AM - The alarm clock goes off at an ungodly hour. I hit it to turn it off. It only plays Beethoven's Fifth louder. So I hit it again and again. Then I wash my hands. I get up, put on gloves, and wash my hands. Then I open the window, look out into the darkness, remember that I got up so early to go shopping. And groan.
I put on my ski mask.
"Let's do this," I tell my sleeping wife in a poor imitation of Edward G. Robinson doing Al Capone.
Then I wash my hands again.