Joe Biden’s spectacular failure of a presidency
In ancient times, scatomancers were influential members of their community called upon to assist in medical diagnosis and trial by ordeal. In kleptoparasitic, one of scatomancy's forms that was popular in ancient Egypt, dung beetles were employed. These amazing insects were actually held sacred and immortalized by the Egyptians. They shape, roll and weave dung balls as a sexual display and courtship attractor. The beetle’s speed and behavior, as well as the appearance of the dung balls, were all taken into consideration for the prognostications.
Medieval European experts also practiced such coprological divinations:
Gualtherus Bruele’s Praxis Medicinae (1639) provides instructions on diagnosing various diseases, often using feces as a tool: “those fluxes are worst, when the excrements doe resemble the colour of a Leeke, and when they be blackish, and doe stink very much,” and “if black excrements be voyded, the body being leane, if parcels of fat and flesh and pieces of the guts be voyded, as also if the patient be weake, the flux is mortall, because the flesh cannot grow together, nor the ulcer be made hard”.
But on April 12th, while Biden was giving a speech blaming Putin for inflation, etc., a heavenly messenger, aka a pigeon, delivered a shot of guano to his lapel. The Mainstream Media, no doubt well-versed in Scatomancy, double-clutched and gulped, then attributed the untimely white squirt as “distiller’s grain.” Huh? Uncle Joe shuddered, as even in his demented state, realized being pooped on -- as he’s done repeatedly to Americans across the continent -- is a bad omen.
In fact, the entire Democrat Establishment would be well-advised to sit down for a Scatomancy and Coprological reading. Then again, this may be a waste of time since their goose is already cooked with Joe Biden’s spectacular failure of a presidency. But best of luck to Joe Biden and his official dry cleaner as they try to remove the most obvious symbol of Joe’s failure since the Afghanistan debacle.
