Dear Europe and others,
As our President tries to make amends to you for our sorry nation, we the people now must bear responsibility as well.
Please forgive us for liberating you from the Nazis and the gas chambers. Africa-we will take Tripoli out of the Marine Anthem and please forgive us for all the food and medical supplies we have provided you throughout my lifetime. Germany--you can put the wall back up--our mistake demanding its removal. Japan, Iraq and South Korea—sorry about rebuilding your economy and that whole liberation thing. South America--well we did give away the Panama Canal to you so you could lease it to the Chinese. Speaking of China—sorry for all the money and jobs. Mexico--we haven't taken in enough of your poor, your tired and your murdering drug thugs to ease your economic woes. We are a bad neighbor. UK—we are sorry for rebelling only to make you suffer with the likes of Michael Savage. Mother Russia--we are truly, truly sorry we didn't give you ALL of Europe. Finally, the Middle East with the exception of Israel. We have stolen oil from you for years causing your people to suffer and remain in poverty while remaining under YOUR rule all the while supporting Israel, that very prosperous and free nation in your midst. We won’t do that anymore. Just ask Iraq.
Canada--we never did say thank you enough for helping some of our hostages in Iran to escape disguised as Canadians. I know your were being nice but we are such sorry lot here we must apologize to everyone and I am sure we have sinned against you some time somewhere. So, in that spirit we make our final apology: For not remaining vigilant and electing a President who is ashamed of us and wants us to be like the rest of you. To that end: Mexico---we have bankrupt prisons in California.We are sending the inmates to you. Africa, South Korea—you are on your own. Russia, China and Europe—we won’t be repaying those debts. And finally South America—we are well on our way to being a banana republic dictatorship.I know I have left someone out. Please forgive me if you can. My sins are so many I can't remember them all --so I am sorry to everyone for everything.
So sorry,
A. Citizen
