DEMOCRATS DEPLORABLE DIALOG: "TALKING POINTS"

Politicians representing both parties are routinely issued talking points to be disseminated via whatever media is convenient. It is standard operating procedure. The words used are likely prepared by lawyers to stretch the mantra just far enough. The notion is to prevent presenters from going off script and betraying themselves as just ordinary fools. It is easy to recognize talking points because they are almost never related to the topic at hand or the questions from an interviewer requiring an appropriate answer. The presenter is required to maintain a Cheshire cat grin while dispensing the party line, further confusing the audience. Those that excel at it can plant more seeds than a multi-acred farmer. The question of course remains: "Is the crop presentable enough to be saleable?"

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE A GOOD TALKING POINT

For over a year the Dems main talking points have attempted to explain the reason why they lost the POTUS election. It has not been fashionable to admit they put up a lousy candidate. But that could be changing. The onrushing bus might be be right behind her and it won't be blowing a warning horn. Frantically searching for an excuse, however implausible, they stumbled onto "the Russians did it" theory, always a convenient scapegoat because it never goes away and can never be absolutely proven one way or the other. And many of the lesser informed hoi polloi are likely to accept it even if they don't quite get it. But trying to attach the Russian bear to the real POTUS has become stale and the panic is on to find another official in the Trump camp to see if that person holds the chain attached to Putin's neck. Or is it the other way around? It doesn't matter. As long as there is a chain and an ugly creature at one end it'll do.

INQUISITORS CAN ALSO HAVE TALKING POINTS

The Paradise Papers, a sequel to the Panama Papers, turned up a seeming connection between Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross and unnamed "Putin cronies". A Bloomberg TV interviewer was assigned talking points to pursue the incrimination of Mr. Ross, a not infrequent guest on the network and normally treated with courtesy. Previously he was always familiarly called "Wilbur" . . . but now he is less warmly addressed as "Mr. Ross". She eagerly pursued her task, leaning forward, arms waving in an accusatory manner. The former acronym describing Soviet Russia was "CCCP". It was pasted on all their rocket machinery. If you look it up you will learn it is undecipherable. But it applies beautifully to Wilbur Ross. He is Calm, Cool, Collected, and Poised. Unflappable! After he politely responded to a few questions she demanded he submit to an investigation. He responded with just two words, "Investigate what"? His countenance accompanying the indignant remark produced a hilarious reaction. It looked like she had developed a wedgie in her panties. She couldn't end the session fast enough. Like the command shouted at old burlesque performances when a bummer was obvious you could almost hear someone offstage yell "Give him the hook!"