Letterman Named “Male Chauvinist Pig of the Year, 2009”

Interviewed by Stoos Views ace reporter Hugh Betcha at Letterman's home where he lives with his former live in girlfriend and now wife--whom, as Letterman joked, he "knocked up" [sic] sometime ago--Letterman was in a jovial mood and obviously proud of his new honor. "We work hard on these jokes," he told Hugh, " and I was especially proud of that one about Palin's minor daughter. As you know, we compose these jokes ahead of time, and practice them many times before we do them live. This ensures that the audience gets the same high quality, knee slapping humor which keeps me at the top of the ratings." When asked how he and his writers ever came up with anything so gosh darn funny as the Alex Rodriguez rape joke, he explained: "Well, we said to ourselves, 'what is the funniest subject we could possibly come up with that appeals to the prurient interests of a wide range of viewers, including child rapists, pedophiles, and macho men like myself who consider young females sexual objects?' The answer was simple: What could possibly be funnier than an adult male baseball player raping a 14-year-old girl during the seventh inning stretch at a Yankees game? I mean, once the light bulb went off, I laughed until I cried! Judging from the reaction in the studio audience, my instincts were right. And, since it involves Sarah Palin, why we knew it would be well received. After all, next to the idea of statutory rape of a 14 year old, what could be funnier than to demean a well-rounded, conservative Republican woman in a stable marriage with all her kids born in wedlock, and who successfully runs a state? I mean, come on, what a loser...." When asked what he had in store for his television audience in the future, Letterman lit up: "We are working on some more really good material about double amputees and elderly Alzheimer's patients," he replied. "This stuff is drop dead funny." At this point, the Stoos Views reporter took his leave. As the reporter opened the door, Letterman shouted: "Hey, did you hear the one about the dead baby?" But the reporter did not stay for the punch line. Note: If you wish to congratulate David Letterman on his recent honor and express your appreciation of his humor you can write The Late Show at: cbsmailbag@aol.com