Life In The Internet Outhouse

Original article publication at Marr's Guitars There was a brief time, back in the early days of social media, when I had both a Facebook and a Linked-In account. This was long before the revelations of Edward Snowden. This was long before I came to view the Internet as a technology that - more often that not – is highly detrimental to intelligence, attention span, human interaction, basic courtesy and common sense.

This was long before I considered reading the “privacy notices” and “terms and conditions” found on so many websites. Like most folks, I just figured those interminably long documents were nothing but fine print demanded by legal beagles. I viewed such declarations in much the same way I interpreted those silly little stickers that say “do not step on the top rung of this ladder” or “use of this blow-dryer while standing in the shower could lead to electrical shock.” I figured the almost indecipherable “privacy” and “terms” notices were geared toward liability avoidance, nothing more and nothing less. I was amazingly naïve in regard to the Internet – as many of us were and as many of us still are – because it was shiny and convenient. In my ignorance it never crossed my mind that the companies behind social media were scooping up reams of personal data regarding my comings and goings, my buying habits, my Internet browsing history and probably even my preferred brand of harmonica. It never occurred to me that the “free” account so benevolently provided was nothing but cheese in the mousetrap. Knowledge about an individual consumer allows companies to target you – specifically – with an endless stream of ads for goods and services that fit with your established purchasing habits. The outfits that accumulate and sell the data – Google, Facebook, Linked-in, etc – make the vast majority of their income from these ads (we’re talking in the hundreds of billions of dollars). It also allows the government (we’re aware of this in large part thanks to the aforementioned Mr. Snowden) to target those they view as a threat. The problem here is that the definition of “threat” tends to be highly subjective and malleable. It is usually determined and interpreted by whatever political party happens to be in power, as well as the degree of authoritarianism inherent to that party’s leaders. The only thing you can really count on is that the power to snoop will be grossly abused – to either a greater or lesser degree - by whichever paranoid megalomaniac sits in the Oval Office.

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And, make no mistake; they’re all paranoid megalomaniacs. Republican or Democrat, Libertarian or Green . . . the primary differences between a Trump, Clinton, Obama, Sanders or Cruz are found in performance ability, branding expertise, stage presence and Machiavellian desire. These people obviously present different messages and make different promises. They obviously profess different ideologies. But, the messages are simply the words they think you want to hear. Candidates assume you’re dumb as a squirrel, and they’ll say or do anything to get your vote. The height of their disdain becomes most evident when they deliver their speeches in a variety of poorly rendered accents. Few things are more amusing – or as heinously patronizing and condescending - than hearing Hillary Clinton attempting to adopt the accent of a lower-income black woman from the rural Carolinas. As for the promises or politicians, you can rest easy that those will never be kept. Moreover, though loudly stated ideologies may sound dissimilar, at their core they are the same. There is really only one message, one promise and one ideology. It is this: “I want power and control over your life, and I will do whatever I can to get it.” As for my Facebook and Linked-In accounts, I think I dumped them after about six months. I tired of the silliness of the former. It began to feel invasive and creepy - which it was and is - and discovered that it really wasn’t very effective as a marketing tool (one of my big reasons for signing up in the first place). I found myself arguing with folks I didn’t know or like, and discussing matters I didn’t care about. I got out just before Facebook established the “Timeline” – that’s how long ago it was - and my only regret was that I was on the damned thing in the first place. I did reconnect with a few old friends – which was good - but in most cases the connections withered as soon as I left FB. I can count the old FB friends with whom I occasionally still correspond on one hand. My Linked-In account was just a parody to begin with. If memory serves, I listed my profession as either “drunken plate-spinner and part-time CEO of Microsoft,” or “mildly retarded publisher and bat-wing kite builder.” I dismantled that nonsense on the same day I left Facebook. Frankly, because I tend to be a lazy sort of idiot - it was only after jumping ship on social media that I got around to reading the terms and conditions and privacy policies. That’s no small task, and it’s a little intimidating to realize that you’re basically giving the social media companies full access to your entire life by using their needless services. The policies that go along with simple email accounts on Google and Yahoo aren’t much better, but I’ve yet to figure a way to do what I do (scribble stuff) and make a living without email. I am still able to get by without a cell phone. I’m oddly proud of that, even though I know that my lack of this now “necessary” device places me in the “nutty old coot” category. When I was a kid there were always one or two grey-hairs around who lacked indoor plumbing. We viewed them as about two beers shy of a six-pack. I’ve no doubt that I’m now perceived in the same way due to the fact that I feel zero need to remain constantly connected to the whole damned world. I’m sorta’ proud of that too, and while I’ve no plans to build an outhouse, I’ll never regret the day I dumped social media down the toilet.