Government controlled, single payer, government newspeak

Linda Douglass: Minister of Truth

By P.J. Gladnick—— Bio and Archives--August 5, 2009

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It’s thirteen o’clock and I’m Linda Douglass speaking to you from the Ministry of Truth.

(She holds four fingers up.)

You see these fingers? You might think I am holding up four fingers but your lyin’ eyes are taking what you are seeing out of context since I am really holding up five fingers. In the same manner, the videos you have seen of our Glorious Leader stating that he wants single payer health insurance have been taken out of context. Do not believe what your eyes and ears have told you. Those videos that you think you’ve seen have been tossed down the memory hole. They do not exist nor have they ever existed.

And now for some Newspeak updates…

The term “government controlled” has now been replaced by “single payer.” Wait a moment… I have just received another update: “single payer” has now been replaced by “public option.”

In other news, criticism of Obamacare has now been declared to be a thought crime. There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the Ministry of Truth, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). The Thought Police will be notified and the thoughtcrime perpetrators sent on a visit to Room 101 for re-education.

Senator Ben Nelson has been declared a traitor to the Party and the principles of Demsoc for his opposition to Obamacare. Therefore the Hate Week festivities will be dedicated to this doubleplusungood usurper of Party authority.

Remember, our Glorious Leader is not for single payer. He has never been for single payer.

We are at war with Eastasia. We have always been at war with Eastasia.

P.J. Gladnick lives in South Florida which is full of eccentrics which is why he feel right at home here. P.J.‘s main accomplishments in life was winning a bottle of aftershave when he was eight and having the biggest PING List (almost 1000 Pingees) on the Free Republic forum for my DUmmie FUnnies blog. This is fortunate since he suffer severely from Ping List Envy.

  He has written a syndicated humor column that appeared in dozens of newspapers throughout North America. Only complete humility forbids him from telling you that his columns appeared in the Houston Chronicle, St. Petersburg Times, L.A Herald-Examiner, Winnipeg Free Press, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Vancouver Sun.

P.J.  has produced an award-winning satirical comix website called PJ’s Comix. Among the people we viciously satirized was James Carville but I hope that Mary overlooks that.

P.J. can be reached at: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)


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