The Summer of 42: A True Story

“A flood cannot put out love. Rivers cannot drown love. Would people despise a man for giving everything he owns for love?” (Song of Solomon 8:7 ERV).

This is a love song: a song about how the Almighty God used a series of extraordinary circumstances to bring the most amazing woman into a disillusioned man’s life in such a miraculous way. No, it is not a summary of the 1971 book and movie by the same name (‘Trust’, 2016). Like the book and the movie of the same name, the story is a sort of “coming of age” for two strangers who found themselves in the middle of God’s miraculous work. Unlike the book and the movie, there was no premarital encounter. Neither was there a one-night stand, followed by the disappearance of the young man’s love interest (Trust, 2016).

This story has to do with two young strangers who met through incredible circumstances that only the Lord God could orchestrate. She was a beautiful 18-year-old girl becoming an incredible woman. He was older, but not so mature. Both had tried to find love and came up empty. It was the grace of God that brought them together some 42 years ago. After only three days, he asked her to marry him. It hasn't always been easy, but it has been an incredible journey for which neither would trade one single day. The Almighty God continues to pour out His goodness in an ever-growing passion and devotion in the lives of these two lovers. This is a true story, told by the man who experienced it – me!

The story goes something like this: I was a young man moving to a new area, starting a new job and trying to make friends. I attended a church that became a regular place for worship and building friendships. I had given up on finding the perfect partner, and wondered what path to pursue to find someone with whom I could share my life. I was a praying man, but God had not come through with that “dream wife.” So I was willing to accept what was in front of me.

What was in front of me was a woman who loved me, but I only saw her as a friend. We had worked together, and had dated twice, and I had broken off dating twice. I had subsequently secured a permanent job in another city. Now I thought it was time to finally get married. Since she loved me, I thought we might try it one more time. So we were back on for the third time, and started having those conversations about the future.

I brought her to church with me to show her off to some older gentleman friends. That’s when I started to hear about some other plans: someone was planning for me to marry a girl I had yet to meet. Huh? Here I am dating someone, and the men in the church are telling me this story about me marrying someone else. When I heard this story, standing there with a girlfriend already in tow, I was quick-tempered and frustrated – what kind of place is this?

I dug a little deeper and discovered that some women in the church had cut my picture out of the newspaper and taped it to a refrigerator in one woman’s home. Why did they do this? They believed that “God had told them” that I was the man who was going to marry the daughter of one of the women. Really? I had a job in the area where we did a lot of public relations, and so I was always trying to get my picture in the newspaper with several of our big donors. One day, the newspaper people wanted to know more, and I became the focus of a story about “the people in your neighborhood.” My then boss was not amused; but this became the focus of the prayers of this small group of women as they sought the Lord’s favor in prayer for this single girl. The only problem was, neither the other woman nor myself were privy to this plan.

It happened after this that the Lord allowed all the pieces to come together: I had attended church alone that weekend, and it just so happened that the other woman to whom I was supposed to be betrothed attended church on the same day. I let my foolish pride come out when I chased her down the steps after church and introduced myself by saying, “Hi I’m JOE. When is the wedding?”

That was the first time we had met. It was the worst pick up line I had ever used. So embarrassed was I that in the afternoon my guilty conscience convinced me to call the woman and her mother and to apologize for my flippant response. I hoped to be able to at least be more friendly in the future. That’s when things took an unexpected turn.

This young woman was attending college about three hours away and needed to return for classes the next day. She traveled back to school and came down with a sudden very high fever. I heard about this the next day, as a prayer request was sent out to the congregation. I called her mom to offer my prayers and any help I might be. Despite this high fever, the woman checked herself out of the college infirmary and drove with great discomfort the three hours back home.

Due to my humility in asking forgiveness the day prior, and my offer to help in some way, I was invited over for dinner the next evening. That began a series of dinners and lunches over the next two days, and suddenly I found myself holding her hand and rubbing her thumb of all things. The next step was a late-night call after dinner on the third day. Funny how that third day has had some historical significance.

We spoke on the phone that night after dinner. I do not remember about what we spoke, but somewhere in this meandering exchange I told her that I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. “I guess that’s a proposal,” I said in hindsight. I just kept talking on and on and not listening. Finally, when my monologue stopped, the young woman asked me if I wanted an answer. I didn’t even know what I said, but she answered affirmatively, “yes!” So after three days, I guess we were engaged? But it gets better.

Two days later, as all of this is starting to dawn on us and everyone involved, and as we are praying for some clear direction – like what are we getting ourselves into – there just happened to be a series of evangelistic meetings going on at a nearby church to which other family members attended (Can you see where this is going? I certainly did not).

We sat through the service and accepted the invitation to go forward for prayer. There was lots to pray about here – is this really happening? Shaking with fear and wondering what the heck was going on, the evangelist came up to us and told us that he had a message from God for us. Yes, this really did happen!

He told us in an indirect way that God had brought us together, and then challenged me to pursue the path to professional ministry to which God had called me several times. How does he know this? We were both flabbergasted and prayed with the man not knowing what to do next.

Well, the next step was talking to her father. So that Friday night, five days after our first awkward meeting, and two days after asking this woman to marry me, I asked her father if I could have his daughter’s hand in marriage. He was an eyewitness to all of this as well, and as surprised and shocked as the rest of us. But that old conservative patriarch did not say “let’s slow down here” or anything like that – he surprisingly said yes!

So that Saturday, after this incredible week of circumstances that can only be explained as being guided by the hand of a loving and faithful God, I traveled to visit the other woman with whom I had dated twice before and was currently dating a third time.

I spent two hours with her in a diner, explaining to her how I was breaking up with her for the third time, so I could marry a woman I had just met. A perfect ending! Because of the challenge of that evangelist, I also quickly signed up to pursue a Master of Divinity program. Before we were set to depart the area for me to attend school, we were married in the church where we had met just 5 months earlier.

Thankfully, we did not go away to school. Thankfully, we stayed close by our family and worked through a lot of challenging times. Once the euphoria of these remarkable events dissipated, we realized that we hadn’t taken the time to get to know each other. So while the story is an amazing one of how we first met, what is more amazing is the mercy and kindness that God showed to us as we grappled with the incredible facts of how God had brought us together, while learning to know and to like and finally to passionately love each other.

And here we are, celebrating in the summer of our 42nd anniversary, more in love than I can ever remember being. We have worked through many troubling times, like the loss of premature children, a son who cut us off for a while, career changes, major moves and now an elderly parent with dementia. Yet through all of this I cannot imagine loving anyone else. It has been the most remarkable journey, an amazing set of circumstances, a true fairytale wedding. It only works now because of God’s faithfulness and our commitment to Him and to each other. “A flood cannot put out love. Rivers cannot drown love….” Amen!

Sources:

Trust, R. (2016, June 16). “Summer of 42:” From Film to Book. Yesterday’s Island: Today’s Nantucket.