T’was three weeks before Christmas

- A bit of Coalition humour sent by a CFP reader T’was three weeks before Christmas, when all through the house The opposition was stirring, even Layton - the louse. The dealings were waved in front of noses in the air, In hopes that a Coalition soon would be there.

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The Blocs were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of separatism danced in their heads. And Jack in his ‘kerchief, and Stéphane - the sap, Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap. When all across the country there arose such a clatter, Dion insisted, it didn’t really matter. Away out the window, he threw with a flash, The results of the election, amid the backlash. The moon on the breast of Elizabeth May, Suggested she might still be able to play. When, what to her wondering eyes should appear, But a weasely Frenchman with promises dear. With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it was Jack Layton, the dick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name! "Now Dion! now, Duceppe! Now Mays - you vixen! Let’s get together, It’s time to Listen! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Let’s unite! Let’s unite! Separatists and all!" And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of Canadians, not aloof. They drew in their heads, and turned around, And down the chimney St Harper came with a bound. He was dressed all in gold, from his head to his feet, Letting them know he wouldn’t be easy to defeat. A bundle of Tories he had flung on his back, And he looked like a King, with nothing to lack. His eyes-how they glared! his fists, how clenched! He stands for democracy, and won’t see it trenched! His droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer, For the governor-general soon would appear.. The promise of dissolving he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it caused encircled his head like a wreath. He had a stern face and a little round belly, And wanted to bury Dion in a bowlful of jelly! Harper was elected by Canadians, voted in fair, Not a Weasel, not a Separatist, not the guy with no hair! With them getting together, it will have to be said, Canadians will face the future with dread. Harper spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, Shook his head in disgust, then turned to the jerk. And laying his middle finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose! He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a shout, Trying to teach Canadians, what this is about. And I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight, "This is the end of democracy, C’mon lets fight!"

Trudeau's curse

  The substance of Rae’s allegations Smell like stale beer soaked air And once his foul zephyr hits you You’ll lose everything, even your hair!   Dion says his supporters Are waiting to help with their might But they must have turned in vampires. They only come out in the night.   When Dion emerges at midnight From his foul smelly hole on the Hill He drivels his venom and muck rake To destroy all value and kill   The honest work of the true dudes Who toil to defeat Turdeau’s curse Who followed all rules to the letter Cause the Libs were pilf’ring the purse..   Now the honest are spending their money To protest this castle on sand And pray ne’er again will the voters Feel Turdeau’s clammy dead hand.   Anonynamoose

An important test of where you Stand... Take the time to read this..

This test is very quick with only one question, but it's a very important one, especially considering the news of the past week. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line. THE SITUATION: You are in Canada, Ottawa to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a huge early December storm with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photo-journalist working for a major Canadian newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water of the Ottawa River. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury. THE TEST: Suddenly, you see three men in the water. They are fighting for their lives, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer... Somehow, the men look familiar... You suddenly realize who they are.. It's Stephane Dion, Jack Layton, and Gilles Duceppe! You notice that the raging waters are about to take them under forever. You have two options: You can save lives or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of the country's most pathetic men at possibly one of Canada's most important historical moments! THE QUESTION: Here's the question, and please give an honest answer... Would you select wide angle to capture the entire dramatic scene, or telephoto to capture a revealing close up of the abject fear on their faces?

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