Arnold Ahlert

Facts? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Facts

Comedians Penn and Teller have a show call "Bulls**t!" which runs every so often on the Showtime cable network. The purpose of the show is to expose fraudulent ideas or thinking in an amusing way. The one I watched was about organic vegetables and whether or not they were any better than non-organic ones. The show, using both anecdotes and scientific evidence demonstrated pretty convincingly that they're not. But the anecdotes revealed something profound about the way people think -- or more accurately how some people allow feelings to completely over-ride reason.

Stay Healthy, America—- or else!

In 2008 Democrats got complete control of the federal government. At one point they had a filibuster-proof 60 seats in the Senate. Rhis led directly to the passage of ObamaCare without a single Republican vote. A majority of Americans was so repulsed they handed the House back to Republicans in 2010. Republicans want to rid the country of this albatross, even as Democrats aim to use it as the vehicle to get health care under complete federal control. So who's got the better argument? Here's the latest from England, where they've had government-run healthcare for decades.

Three-Out-of-Four Americans Are Radicals

There are a lot of absurdities surrounding the debt ceiling talks. But two of the biggest have to be the idea that Republicans are the "radicals" in this particular dance and, unbelievably as it may seem, all of our current fiscal problems are George W. Bush's fault — therefore we must maintain our spending binge with no end in sight, other than some opaque promise to address the issue somewhere down the road.

Completely Expectable ‘Unexpectedness’

Last Friday, Americans revisited two of the most depressingly recurring themes they have been forced to endure for almost three years. First, $3 trillion of debt-bloating, economy-killing, spread-the-poverty around Keynesian economics once again proved itself to be a colossal failure. Second, economists who use the word "unexpected" to describe that which is painfully obvious to everyone else have once again proven they are unrelentingly clueless. The unemployment rate? "Unexpectedly" up to 9.2 percent. Job creation? 18,000, "uber-unexpectedly" below the prediction of 90,000.

Organized Cheating

The ongoing bankruptcy known as unionized public school education has reached a new milestone. In Atlanta, 178 teachers and principals spread throughout 56 schools were investigated, and cheating on tests — by the educators themselves — was confirmed in 44 of them. So far, 82 of the people entrusted with the education of children have confessed to erasing wrong answers on standardized test and inserting right ones. Are these reprobates the focus of corruption? Don't be silly. "We have a terrible federal law called No Child Left Behind that says that all schools have to have 100 percent of their students proficient in reading in math by the year 2014 or their schools will be shut down," said Educator Diane Ravitch.

Progressivism Masquerading as Education

A couple of weeks ago the results of a nationwide history test given at various grade levels were released by the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP). To virtually no one's surprise, only 20 percent of fourth graders, 17 percent of eighth graders and 12 percent of high school seniors demonstrated "proficiency" on the exam. Most Americans, if we're being honest, are equally incompetent, if not more so, regarding basic economics. Throw in a lack of proficiency regarding the Constitution, and you get a trifecta of ignorance that ought to embarrass any First World nation. Yet if the Maryland public school system is any indication, we're beyond embarrassment: "environmental literacy" will now be required in order to graduate high school.

NBC-ya Later

It has now been revealed that NBC's decision to leave out the words "under God" and "indivisible" from the Pledge of Allegiance in Sunday's U.S. Open golf broadcast was no accident. On Tuesday, the network released this statement: "We are aware of the distress this has caused many of our viewers and are taking the issue very seriously.

Nothing Is Anyone’s Fault Anymore

In a number of columns over the last few years, I've made the point that the heart of virtually all of America's problems stem from widespread immorality. The seeds of this social downslope were planted in the 1960s, when America's so-called "social revolution" took place, and two groups of people, lawyers and therapists, supplanted religious figures. As a result, the long-traditional understanding of good and evil has been transformed into debates about legal and illegal, and/or well and unwell. In short, nothing is anyone's fault anymore. No one exemplifies this transformation better than Anthony Weiner.

If I Were President

There's an episode of the old cartoon Popeye where girlfriend Olive Oyl sings a song entitled, "If I Were President." In keeping with that spirit, a very short list, in no particular order, of what I would attempt to achieve with four years in the Oval Office:

California Dreamin’

Sometimes one has to laugh to keep from going nuts. So here's the laugher: on Monday the Supreme Court of the United States voted 5-4 to release upwards of 46,000 inmates from California's prison system, due primarily to "overcrowding." The joke? Alcatraz, one of nation's most famous prisons, which also happens to be located in California, has become a tourist attraction since it was closed by Attorney General Robert Kennedy in 1963.

Obama’s Farewell to Israel Speech

President Obama, in what only be characterized as a flight from reality, suggested that "borders of Israel and Palestine should be based on the 1967 lines with mutually agreed swaps, so that secure and recognized borders are established for both states." But it gets better. "The full and phased withdrawal of Israeli military forces should be coordinated with the assumption of Palestinian security responsibility in a sovereign, non-militarized state." Would that be the "Palestinian security responsibility" that has long countenanced the firing of several thousand missiles into Israel? Would those be the same Israeli forces confronted on three sides by Arab protesters attempting to cross the border from Syria, Lebanon and Gaza as recently as a week ago, when they were "celebrating" Nabka, aka the "day of catastrophe," as it relates to the creation of the Jewish state in 1948?

‘Krauthammering’ Amnesty

I like Charles Krauthammer. Really. By and large, I find his columns to be wonderfully cogent and fully expressive of the conservative values that many Americans hold dear. But there must be something in the water in Washington, D.C., or, to paraphrase an expression coined by Mr. Krauthammer himself, perhaps Beltway Derangement Syndrome (his was Bush Derangement Syndrome) truly exists. Charles rightly "Krauthammered" president Obama's immigration speech of last week--and then went right off the rails himself.

The Epicenter of Progressive Contempt for the Rule of Law

Of the many serious flaws that attach themselves to progressive ideology, perhaps the worst is the reality that the rule of law means nothing if it conflicts with the progressive worldview. In San Francisco, officials there have decided that federal immigration law will cast be cast aside to appease progressive sensibilities: they will defy cooperation with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), and release arrested illegal aliens before they can be taken by ICE for possible deportation.

The Education plantation

We are now approaching the end game with respect to sanity and the public school system. A homeless woman who registered her 6-year-old son at a Norwalk, Conn. elementary school has been charged with first-degree larceny and conspiracy to commit first-degree larceny for ostensibly "stealing" over $15,000 worth of education. Tonya McDowell, 33, was released after posting a $25,000 bond. She faces a fine of up to $15,000 and as many as 20 years in jail.

The Bell May Toll for Jersey Toll Collectors

It was one of those little stories, a three-sentence job on inside pages of last Saturday's local newspaper. But it illustrates a mentality that is so outrageous--yet so thoroughly typical of the government union mindset--it deserves far wider dissemination than it has received so far. Last Thursday, a federal judge dismissed a lawsuit in which union workers were seeking to prevent New Jersey from privatizing toll collector jobs on the New Jersey Turnpike, unless those workers got the "right of first refusal" to keep their jobs. But it gets even better: the suit argued that privatization violates workers' First Amendment rights.

From Medical Dependency to Dependency on the Welfare State

According to MSNBC, a shortage of drugs used to treat ADD and ADHD has parents "scrambling" to find ways to keep their children medicated. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "5.4 million children ages 4 to 17 have ever (sic) been diagnosed with ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and 66 percent of those with current ADHD take medication to control the condition." Would it be indelicate to think that a child introduced to chemical dependency at the ripe old age of four might be a tad more amenable to government dependency further down the line?

It Takes a Bigot to Expose a Death Cult

According to Britain's Daily Mail, Florida Pastor Terry Jones, who burned a copy of the Koran after a six-hour mock trial, "has been directly responsible for a wave of violence that began last night (April 2) and has left 30 people dead and more than 150 injured. The defiant stance has led General Petraeus, the head of NATO forces in Afghanistan, to join international condemnation of pastor Jones." Let me begin by stipulating that what Mr. Jones did was both stupid and provocative. At the same time, the reaction to his stunt is quite fascinating on a number of levels, most of which center around the reality that Western culture is besieged by weak thinkers, apologists and appeasers. What Mr. Jones did was personally self-destructive. The reaction to it may be culturally suicidal.

If Republicans Acted Exactly Like Democrats

One of the best ways to illustrate the utter corruption of an ideology is one of the oldest: imagine if political party "x," did what political party "y" is doing, and see if it passes the stink test. For this purpose, I offer Exhibits A, B and C: Wisconsin, Indiana and the Oval Office, three places where what is occurring stinks to high heaven.

The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend

On Thursday, a local talk radio host who, like many Americans, was dumbstruck by the left's hysterical reaction to Peter King's Congressional hearings regarding Muslim radicalization, decided to read a list of terror plots to which this nation had been subjected since 9/11. It took him more than half an hour to do so. No doubt most Americans are under the impression that liberals oppose these hearings because they're "racist." For the typically brainwashed, see-no-evil foot soldiers of progressivism, that's probably true. Not so for the progressive intelligensia. What they see is someone shining an unflattering spotlight--on their allies.

Terminal Ingrates Showing Their Terminal Ingratitude

As much as I'd like to be sympathetic to the "plight" of public sector employees, it's just never going to happen. The reason is simple: in my entire life, I've never had a job where I got paid when I didn't work. I never had one where I got automatic raises or had may health care paid for by somebody else. And I've sure as hell never had a job where, after a certain period of time, I would be granted a "tenure" of guaranteed lifetime employment.