Michael Bates

Is Obama an alien abductee?

When Obamatons aren’t renting their shirts or tearing out their hair in sheer ecstasy over his total wonderfulness, they must occasionally speculate about what made their hero the hero he is. I mean, other than the “pot (that) had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow (cocaine) when you could afford it” that he admitted to in his book.

Have we gone insane?

Last week’s poll sponsored by Time magazine and the Rockefeller Foundation found 85 percent of the respondents believe the country is on the wrong track. Time’s Web site carried a story on the study that noted:

Smart Hillary bides her time

Hillary Clinton can be accused of many things. Stupidity isn’t one of them. Waiting in the wings, she’s ready to rescue her party if Mr. Wonderful continues to self-destruct.

Obama’s Supreme puzzlement

Tracking Barack Obama’s position on many issues is akin to watching the weather. Stick around a little while and it’ll change. He can make a U-turn faster than a speeding fist bump.

The Mike Bates Independence Day Quiz

Happy Birthday, America. It’s been 232 years since the Declaration of Independence was proclaimed. Take a quick quiz to see how much you know about this statement that changed the world.

The unsinkable Father Pfleger

Chicago’s Father Michael Pfleger made a triumphant appearance Sunday at St. Sabina’s Catholic Church. Returning from a two-week suspension, the priest delivered his “Ain’t nothing like a comeback” sermon to an adoring congregation.

Big bad Barack flinches

Democrat Senator Joe Biden described Barack Obama last year: “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

Hooray for gas pains

Paying more at the pump has its benefits. For the first time in a long time, Americans are beginning to pay attention. And, by Jove, I think we’ve got it! Or at least some of us do.

An unrepentant slacker’s confession

Last week, two Chicago-area students were recognized for more than just completing high school. They also received commendations for never missing a day of either grade school or high school. Twelve years of perfect attendance. How depressing.

Echoes of 1968

It’s been 40 years since his passing, but Robert Kennedy is again in the news. One reason is Hillary Clinton’s imprudent mention of his assassination. Barack Obama and media accomplices managed to turn that molehill into a mountain in near-record time.

Where Obama should start

Barack Obama presents himself as the voice of hope and change. A transformational figure, he’ll set aside the old politics and run a dignified, elevated campaign, one eschewing gratuitous smears. If Obama is sincere, he should begin by cleaning up his party’s official Web presence.

I just love Fox News

In fact, I don’t really love Fox News. I do, however, love saying that I just love Fox News. Simply expressing that view is enough to drive many liberals to rabid, foaming at the mouth frenzy. I mean, even more than their typical rabid, foaming at the mouth frenzy, which is not inconsiderable.

The Supremes uphold election integrity

Heaven knows Jimmy Carter is wrong much of the time. Yet even the former president has his better days. One of them occurred during his service as co-chair of the 2005 Commission on Federal Election Reform. Carter joined in the commission’s recommendation for a voter photo identification requirement.

Another liberal profile in pettiness

California Senator Barbara Boxer is your standard-issue shrill, humorless, doctrinaire liberal who knows what’s best for everyone else and will force it on them whether they want it or not. Naturally, this makes her a leading light among her Democratic colleagues.

St. Francis should have tried bribes

St. Francis Hospital serves a number of low-income people in suburban Chicago. Losing millions of dollars by caring for uninsured patients, four years ago St. Francis sought approval to build an additional hospital in a more prosperous suburb, Orland Park. The idea was to generate income that would help the original facility survive. .

My, Obama, what big ear(marks) you have

Senator Barack Obama will reform government. If you don’t believe it, just ask him.

No uniform answer for the Democrats

Unless you’re more fortunate than I, you remember erstwhile Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry. Monsieur Kerry was famous for bringing up he’d been in the military. Indeed, his service became a constant refrain of the campaign.

Green collar jobs to the rescue?

It’s the latest. It’s the greatest. Green collar jobs are going to help turn around the economy if Democrats have their way.

A Hussein by any other name

Michelle Obama describes the use of her husband’s middle name, Hussein, as “the fear bomb.” Political adversaries tossed this device in his 2004 Senate race. “They threw in the obvious, ultimate fear bomb. . . When all else fails, be afraid of his name, and what that could stand for, because it’s different.” Now “they’re” doing it again. An intriguing storyline, but is it supported by the facts?

Not a dime’s worth of difference

Forty years ago, third-party presidential candidate George Wallace cackled that there wasn’t “a dime’s worth of difference” between Republican Richard Nixon and Democrat Hubert Humphrey. Gov. Wallace, who was a stanch Democrat most of his life, could have been describing the distinctions between his party’s presidential candidates in 2008.