Michael R. Shannon

The DMV’s No Smile Zone

Last summer the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) determined to make a baleful experience even more grim by refusing to let customers (drivers? victims? sheep?) smile as they had their new driver’s license photo taken.

The Blizzard of Ought Nine

- Satire - Virginia is still digging out from a blizzard that brought the most snow in December since 1932. And what exquisite timing!

Kermit’s Lament

For those readers currently on the fence, let me assure you that when it comes to adopting a system for ordering your life, the more you learn about enviro-worship, the better Christianity looks.

Smoke, Smoke, Smoke that Cigarette

Virginia Governor and Democratic National Committee Chairman Tim Kaine celebrated the successful mulching of another dead horse last week. After presiding over the loss of the governor’s races in his own state and New Jersey, he celebrated the major accomplishment of his last year in office: banning smoking in restaurants.

We Don’t Like to Stock That, It Sells Too Well

I imagine the Postmaster General grinds his teeth when he thinks about how much easier his life would be, if he had a monopoly like the “public” schools. If customers were forced to buy the equivalent postage before they were allowed to ship FEDEX or UPS his competition worries would be over.

This Has Been a Test…

I often have my doubts regarding the school system’s effectiveness when it comes to the dissemination of knowledge, but I can assure you the classroom is unsurpassed when it comes to the spread of disease.

No Putter Left Behind

It’s disconcerting when you find yourself in agreement with Venezuela’s rosy–cheeked dictator Hugo Chavez twice during the same day. I’m going to let others cover Hugo’s dismay at the Nobel Public Relations Prize being awarded to President Obama; which leaves me free to focus on the Big Enchilada’s thoughts on golf.

The Bath County Hillbilly

There are only two gubernatorial elections during this off–year, New Jersey and Virginia. Both parties are keenly aware that the country at large is using both as a barometer of Republican success in 2010. But it seems that the Washington Post may be having second thoughts regarding its choice.

“Environmentalists” and Their Moral Fiber

For those of us who have been wondering how deeply into our personal business “environmentalists” plan to involve themselves, the results are in and the news is not good. But first, a bit of background is in order.

Charlie Brown for Governor

Two Sundays ago, Bob McDonnell sat behind me in church, and he didn’t appear the least bit suicidal. McDonnell didn’t sing too loud or try to address the congregation when he was introduced. That went a long way toward winning my vote.