Wes Porter

The Sex Life of Trees

Despite the depictions of Hollywood and even more explicit viewing available through purveyors of pornography on the Internet, procreation among plants remains a mystery to many.

Flowers and Valentine’s Day

Notwithstanding claims by now-defunct The Weekly Word News that “February Sues for More Days,” this month will have that extra additive but not from any judicial judgment.

Pee for Phosphorus

To Pee or Not To Pee – That Is the Question

On the Seed Scene

Dr. Charles Mayo (1865-1939), organizer of Rochester’s famed Mayor Clinic that his father had founded, was also a keen gardener. His prayer as such seems appropriate at this time:

Botanicalls: The Plants Have Your Number

The newest idea in houseplant care uses modern technology to have the plant telephone when it requires care. Advice from time immemorial, proffered after experiencing such “advances” in practice and pocket, is summed up as cum graino salus.

Forays of the Fashionistas

“I think Kermit the Frog had it all wrong,” wrote Emer Schlosser in a recent Inside Entertainment. “Not only is it easy “Bein’ Green,” it’s a cinch to look damn fine while doing it,” she notes.

January Gardening

Happy New Year – and a Leap Year at that. The extra day will extend predicted cold another twenty-four hours, assuming Richard Mosset, a meteorologist with the Canadian Meteorological Centre at Environment Canada, is right. This winter, says the civil servant soothsayer, will be colder than normal over most of the country.

“If You Can’t Beat ‘Em Eat ‘Em: Insects and the art of entomophagy

The following was recently received:

View What Is New

Just in time for Christmas gifts we commence our VIEW OF WHAT IS NEW for the coming season. In future we will take a look at many other different, frequently innovative inventions. Also, since these columns are for plant people introductions in what is undoubtedly the growing business.

The Wacky World of Woad

Woad was “for ages the main source of blue dye in Europe,” Richters herb catalogue says somewhat shyly. It was certainly known to the ancient Britons. Prior to battle, they dyed themselves blue from head to toe and thus attired fought stark naked.

Christmas Comes But Once a Year . . .

May be you don’t believe in Santa Clausa, California. But then Chico Marx had a similar problem. His brother Groucho presented him with a contract that included “the usual sanity clause.” Chico objected on the grounds that there “is no Sanity Claus.”

December Gardeing

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all faithful readers – unfaithful ones also. And since plants rarely thrive for the politically correct, a nice salad of holly, ivy, azalea and mistletoe for those poor lost souls.

Making Music for Your Plants – Even Having a Chat

The birthday of Prince Charles falls on 15 November. What has this to do with gardening? He believes talking to plants makes them grow. Strolling the 150 hectares of the Highgrove House garden and farm at in the hamlet of Doughton, just outside Tetbury in Gloucestershire, His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales and Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Earl of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Lord of the Isles and Baron of Renfrew, Prince and Great Steward of Scotland, Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter talks to his plants.

Botanical Treasures

One of the glories of the Internet is the ability to access otherwise inaccessible material. No, we’re not suggesting erotica so much as exotica – botanical exotica at that.

John William Waterhouse: An Echo of Narcissus

A magnificent painting entitled Echo and Narcissus hangs in the Walker Art Gallery at Liverpool, U.K. Executed in the Pre-Raphaelite style by the English painter John William Waterhouse in 1903 it depicts Narcissus sprawled on the edge of a rock bank in the middle ground, admiring his reflection in the water. On the opposite bank in the foreground, a wistful Echo gazing across at him. She is suffering from what today is known as a wardrobe malfunction. Most becoming it is too, but as gardeners we are more concerned with a lack of narcissus blooms. True, at her feet, is a flourishing patch of yellow water iris – but no narcissi.

November Gardening

Finally fall arrives – in the gardening sense at least. November promises to be a busy month for the passionate gardener and all those truly devoted to pursuits horticultural. Warming both cheeks before the fire of life, as Lawrence Durrell once wrote.

Oh Deer, Deer

“Many gardeners have had a bellyful of brazen deer,” notes Sears’ Tips for Deterring Deer at this useful web site, part of a much larger ‘Advice for Gardeners’ from that estimable retailer.

The Salt of the Earth,

The City of Windsor, Ontario is renown for many things. Auto manufacturing centre, major casino, magnificent promenades along the flanking Detroit River. Not visible, hundreds of metres below the city are its salt mines.

Which Plants Are Witch?

The Babylonians believed in a female demon that inhabited ruins. Her name, they said, was Lilith. However, in Hebrew folklore Lilith was Adam’s first wife. Then in medieval times she was a famous witch. Likewise, Hecate was the Greek goddess of earth, moon and underworld only later, as Macbeth discovered, to preside over all witches.

October Gardening

Prepare for a stormy fall across Eastern Canada, advises the Canadian Hurricane Centre. Environment Canada in its usual confident way predicts a lack of rain for Ontario all this month and on through to the end of November. Ah well, as Ogden Nash in his glorious rhymes once opined: