The Attack on Pumkins

By Guest Column Jean Arcamone —— Bio and Archives November 1, 2015

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I'm sick of being terrorized by Climate Change proponents. The latest is the blog on the United States Dept. of Energy website that says that Halloween Pumpkins contribute to global warming when they end up in the landfill. So I wondered, would it be better to run them through our intestines first?

Are pumpkin pies a danger? Or simple mashed pumpkins at the Thanksgiving table? And are pumpkins worse than squash, cucumbers, egg plant, or potatoes? And, what will nutritionists say about this attack on vegetables? So many questions, so little time. Apparently, all creatures with placentas produce methane. Methane is necessary to keep your intestines round and open. Well, that certainly sounds like a good plan. And if you've ever tried not to release any extra methane in your system, you know that is a bad idea. Jeez. Can we get a grip, people? Jean Arcamone