By Dr. Bruce Smith —— Bio and Archives--November 21, 2023
A very close friend of mine is a mental health therapist. I’m an historian. We’re both in the same business, actually, the business of understanding human behavior. She works with present day behavior and past experiences. I work with present day behavior and past experiences. We have lots to talk about.
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By Barbi on 2023 11 20
You hit the nail on the head about Introverts having a hard time finding a listener, because they don't want to impose and they think asking for help is selfish. I think some people who truly love God and have a deep prayer life, still have a problem asking God for help or others for prayer. "God has so many other people who have bigger needs than mine. I don't want to be selfish by asking for help." I know someone who feels that way and he happens to be an introvert, but I never put those to things together.
I have another friend who is very much an introvert. For someone who is so quiet, she seems to seek me out. I realize that she is not comfortable sharing with others and she needs a safe place to express herself. I just need to allow her that opportunity when she is ready.
I had been in a bad marriage years ago and my best friend would listen to me "babble" on about the situation. One day we sat outside for a long time. I just went on and on. When I had finally talked myself out, I came to the obvious solution. Well, it had been obvious to everyone else but me. I just looked at her and thanked her for all of her help, even though it had been a one-sided conversation. She smiled and said that she could have told me that in the beginning, but that I had needed to hear it for myself. A very cathartic afternoon!
My wonderful husband now tells me when women have a problem, it is in a man's nature to want to fix it. What she really needs usually is just to have him listen to her. Let her put her problem out there and then many times she comes to her resolution just be being able to talk it out. Don't fix - just listen.
Thank you for your description of the narrator.
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