John Lillpop

A “Progressive” Checklist for Culling Out Racists

As a point of reference, racist is formally defined as follows:

Give ‘em Hell, Sarah!

Oh, what a night! Democrats and other enemies of America were put on notice, in no uncertain terms, that Republicans intend to wage holy war in order to preserve the institutions and values that have made ours the most successful society in human history.

NewBorn Babes: Bundles of Joy or Punishment?

In the never ending absurdity practiced by American media in the name of journalism, Bristol Palin and her pregnancy have driven news worthy stories off the front pages and into dustbins all across America.

Liberals Mourn As New Orleans Survives Gustav

With gleeful liberals and mainstream media vultures conjoined in readiness to celebrate the devastation of Hurricane Gustav as yet another legacy item in failed Republican governance, Mother Nature double-crossed the blood thirsty bleeding hearts by leaving New Orleans mostly intact.

Hurricane Gustav Exposes Evil, Insanity of Hateful Liberals

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina three years ago, liberal Democrats, in concert with the liberal media, spared no fire in excoriating President Bush and his administration for failing to respond quickly and more effectively to the Category Five killer storm. Particularly venomous liberals even went so far as to intimate that the Bush government moved slowly, and without appropriate urgency, only because most of Katrina's victims were poor black people. According to hateful liberals still smarting from having their hides whipped into submission during consecutive presidential elections in 2000 and 2004, significant loss of black lives and property were not sufficient reason for the Republican president to cut short his Crawford, Texas, vacation.

Run, DiFi, Run!

Rumor has it that Senator Diane Feinstein (D-Ca)may be giving serious consideration to running for governor of California in 2010.

The Gospel, According to the Book of Nancy

Rarely has Nancy Pelosi been mistaken for a brilliant thinker or a heavy weight in intellectual circles. In fact, calling the Shreeker of the US House an "air head" would be an insult to air everywhere, and a gross exaggeration of her intellectual prowess as well.

Frisco’s ‘Lion of the Left’ Gets Seven Years Plus in Human Cage

Liberal nut job Bernie Ward is headed to the minimum-security prison in Lompoc, California where the bloated lefty will roar meekly, sans his radio microphone, for seven years.

Commie Asses Invade Denver—Where Are the Marines?

It is 3 AM in the morning and the red phone in the Oval Office is ringing off the bloody hook. A major American city has been invaded, state and local law enforcement officials need an immediate, intelligible response from our commander-in-chief. True to form, President Bush is preoccupied clearing brush and tumbleweed on his ranch in Texas, as is his custom every August. He simply has no time to get involved. Put simply, brush and tumbleweed he can handle, but rambunctious asses are beyond W's pay grade.

Flip-Flopping on the Need for Change!

- Satire - If flip flopping were an Olympic event, Barack Obama would have won enough gold medals to buy all of those missing McCain mansions outright, and still have sufficient scratch left to treat Oprah Winfrey to lunch.

“Progressive Insanity” Will Doom San Francisco!

San Francisco's reputation as a "progressive" Mecca for those who have lost the ability to apply common sense to everyday situations is legendary.

San Francisco Liberals Like Bernie Ward Give Alcoholics a Bad Name

- Satire - San Francisco liberals have never been encumbered by the obsession to wallow excessively in untarnished truth, especially when doing so might exacerbate whatever legal and or political quandaries are before them.

With All Those Homes, Perhaps McCain Should Rescue Obama’s Brother?

- Satire - John McCain continues to be pummeled hither and yonder for marrying a woman smarter and more successful that himself, a charge that has never been leveled against Barack Hussein Obama. Funny that. A real stinker, this latest kerfuffel, as it shows the big bad Republican McCain so out of touch with average Americans that he has lost track of his (wife's!) mansions.

Not His Brother’s Keeper?

Like all duty-bound socialists, Barack Obama has a bleeding heart when it comes to doing battle for the underprivileged, less fortunate, and disadvantaged. The Anointed One even fashions himself as a "Champion of the Little Guy," especially when it comes to stealing money from one class of people (taxpayers) and giving said riches to another class (the poor).

Idiotic Shielding of Illegal Alien in SF Leads to More Violence!

Idiots in a fog! is the only term that comes close to describing San Francisco's moronic obsession with illegal aliens at the expense of American citizens.

Lower Mandatory Retirement Age for Goofy College Professors!

Logic 101 should be a required course for those 100 college professors who think it makes sense to lower the drinking age to 18 because 21 has spawned "a culture of dangerous, clandestine 'binge-drinking' -- often conducted off-campus."

Fighting Food, Medical Fraud, and the Fat Fairy

Unlike most red-necked conservative intellectuals living in the Bay Area, I have never found it particularly difficult to "watch" my weight.

Solving the Gang problem in Los Angeles

According to liberal politicians like Mayor Antonio Villagarosa, the gang problem in the once great American city of Los Angeles is so complex and pervasive that only scores of millions of additional taxpayers dollars will make the slightest difference.

Of Feces, Urine, Secret Jails, and Democrats in Denver

- Satire - In the not so distant past, thoughts of the Democratic convention conjured up images of ungodly long and boring speeches from bloated old windbags, ridiculous party platforms, even more absurd nominees, and what must have been the unconstitutional preemption of Bonanza and other television classics during prime time.

Ever Been Blitzed by a Wolf?

- Satire - This is not meant to demean Wolf Blitzer, CNN's top political analyst and part-time kosher food vendor. He is probably a perfectly fine and decent chap, worthy of every wooden nickel he can extort from the corrupt moguls who run CNN and Time Magazine.