Men do whatever it takes to justify whatever they do, no matter the level of nefarious activity involved. I say nefarious because anything dissecting a family should be considered evil. Split the family into disassociated segments during the day, transfer teaching to “experts”, work three jobs weekly to better assure enough money for “comfort” and to have the conveniences of life and recognize how your family grows apart. Not good.
You can’t teach morals and ethics if you’re not there.
And just why do you assume the person you turn your child over to has YOUR (or the kid’s) best interests in mind? How are you to be assured a child won’t be damaged by the incompetence of an under-proven theory being generated into their brains, social make-up and consciousness by a hyper-educated but morally bankrupt predator? Take out the predatory aspect and substitute the word – idiot. We’ve experienced people practicing educational theories that were subversive socially and morally. Is this supposed to be better?
A man I admire greatly was upset when he found out a coach/teacher at a local school was gender-challenged. As my friend was blessed with daughters, he was fearful of the consequences should his daughters come under the tutelage of this person when they went to college. What effect would this person have on young and impressionable minds such as his girls’?
My answer: none probably.
I know the man is an excellent parent and life guide. He and his wife have offered both moral guidance and parental direction in a positive sense. I could see no detriment to his girls because he and his wife had already done their homework.
The girls have already developed a moral structure. They’ve already assimilated a sense of values and societal awareness. They’ve already been schooled in and accepted the gender based concepts of acceptability and (what they consider) normalcy derived in this family. Hence problematic behavior possibilities have been diminished. But no matter what, this family is balanced and strong because of the interaction of the members and the sharing of ideas amongst themselves.
It’s through the interaction of parents and their children we see the development of feelings as differentiated from passions. The control and direction of emotions is something best taught by a parent. The lessons learned from somebody outside of a family unit could be agenda driven and thus polluted by the stunted moral structure of that person. We can better understand the relative differences between sensitivity to impulse and the experience of lasting stimuli. What feels good; isn’t always. And what seems unpleasant can, at times, be more instructive than the easy pleasure.
Where better to learn and hopefully understand the complexities of Ethics and Morality than at the feet of a moral, loving and attentive family elder? Where better to understand the construct of personal norms of morals and conduct? You can learn about biology and procreation from a Medical Doctor. But, can you learn the moral structure allowing for your procreative decisions from a person who is biased one way or the other in answer to problems brought about by a deviation in your normal behavioral standards? I don’t know your response but it’s a question worth asking before circumstances demand an answer.
Our moral judgments don’t derive from theory or computational formulae. They come from ideas and understandings of what we value as individuals and members of our community; whether it’s the family as community or the community outside that structure. The “WHY” of any judgment is as important as the actual “WHAT” of it.
For instance: a person may believe a certain way based on what he’s expressed a desire for. Does the behavior indicate a mindless seeking for pleasure or more importantly; does it come from the value he places upon it? Does a child behave a certain way only from what it is instructed to accomplish and that is the sole reward? Or, does the child follow the instruction of the tutor (parent) because the child values the opinion and praise of the tutor?
In the case of a child it’s more likely the latter.
Thanks for listening
