Immortalizing Anthony’s Wiener

Even as the spin continues to unfold, the real story of life on earth has become how to survive it. Rep. Anthony Weiner’s privates continue to dominate the news, and the “news” has now become the Soap Opera of Our Times. Reality TV’s got nothing on the Internet. This is the story that takes its oxygen from a belief that junk has legs--the longest ones of all.

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Weiner’s privates are predicted here to climb all on their own to the very top of the news of the day ladder and to meander away to a political life of their own. Imagine this teeny weenie morphing all the way from the perverts in congress to maybe someday proving lesbian relationships are better than man/woman marriages. Huma’s baby, if Mama really is pregnant, could be used to prove that Daddy is not needed past the sire stage and that babies raised by two women go a lot further in life. Wait and see. “Here’s my weenie” is already outlasting Obama’s “I killed Osama and you get the 72 versions.” But while penis pictures cavort across Cyberspace, reality is coming on strong. That reality says that a growing number of Americans worry that the U.S. is likely to slip into another great Depression within the next 12 months, and it comes backed up by a new national poll. “A CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll released Wednesday also indicate that the economy overall remains issue number one to voters, with other economic issues--unemployment, gas prices and the federal deficit--taking three of the remaining four spots in the top five.” Anthony’s wiener means diddly squat to a farmer in Mississippi surveying his drowned crops. Nor does it register much with him that 51% of New York City voters believe the congressman should not resign from his job, while 30% disagree and think he should step down, and another 18% are still unsure. That’s because real people struggling with real problems have to live in the real world. Washington DC may as well be as far away as Mars to people worried about how to keep a roof over their family’s heads and food on the table for the little ones. To them, Obama’s golf swing and Michelle’s latest gown are as distant as the Vikings. How long can Anthony’s wiener survive a life on its own when forty-eight percent say that another Great Depression is likely to occur in the next year--the highest that figure has ever reached? The CNN survey also indicates that just under half live in a household where someone has lost a job or are worried that unemployment may hit them in the near future. The poll was conducted starting Friday, when the Labor Department reported that the nation’s jobless rate edged up to 9.1 percent. “The poll reminded respondents that during the Depression in the 1930s, roughly one in four workers were unemployed, banks failed, and millions of Americans were homeless or unable to feed their families,” says (CNN Polling Director Keating) Holland. “And even with that reminder, nearly half said that another depression was likely in the next 12 months. That’s not just economic pessimism--that’s economic fatalism.” “According to the survey, more than eight in ten Americans say that the economy is in poor shape, a number that has stubbornly remained at that level since March.” Even the most naive and gullible have stopped waiting for Obama to come charging up on the knight’s horse to fill their empty gas tanks and build them new kitchens. They’re getting hungrier by day and some heading for despair realizing that Obama is far too busy giving American largesse to faraway Greece. It is Angela Merkel at the dinner table and not the hungry and the worried. In the second coming Great Depression, there will be no John Steinbeck Grapes of Wrath to chronicle the hardships, only a mainstream media that pimps Obama policies and continues to make entertainment the news. In the days of the last Great Depression people leaned on each other, struggled to keep morale high no matter what their lot in life. They knew that no politician could be found to count on when the well ran dry. They proved a much better survival rate being more concerned about their children not going to bed hungry than they were trying to force dramatic gender changes on their own offspring. Still it must irk Obama, Hillary, Tony and Huma that the masses are not out looking for a penis but only a better place to grow their corn.