Naturalness

Not long ago, I ate breakfast with E. J., a friend and former student of mine. Tall, athletic, handsome, mild-mannered, and without affectation, he is a true Southern gentleman who always strives to help, not hurt others, though hurt he could, if necessary. He is a martial arts expert.

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Of all this young man’s attributes, it is his naturalness that is most appealing. Charles Dawes, America’s thirtieth vice-president, must have had men like E. J. in mind when he said, “How majestic is naturalness. I have never met a man whom I really considered a great man who was not always natural and simple. Affectation is inevitably the mark of one not sure of himself.” To be yourself, to be the way God intended you to be — in other words, to be natural — is a test that must be retaken every day. While complaining is a pitfall for most of us in this diurnal challenge, not so with E. J. When I asked about his family, I was reminded of this. “The kids are doing great, but my wife had to retire from her twelve-year nursing career, a job she truly loved.” The manly, stiff-upper-lip expression on his face let me know he would disdain any sympathy I offered, so I said nothing. He mentioned that his wife’s allergy to fresh paint had worsened. When the couple goes shopping, E. J. has to check before they enter stores to be sure no painting is in progress or has been completed in the last few days. Recently, while attending church, someone took a seat directly behind his wife, and immediately her lungs reacted. She was fighting for breath, asphyxiating, and E. J. had to rush her to the nearest emergency room for oxygen. Later, they learned that the person sitting behind them had visited the church basement, where a fresh coat of paint had been applied the day before, and that his clothes had absorbed the fumes. The average person would complain about the difficulties and restrictions such a cruel affliction causes. Taking life’s hardships in stride, as a natural man does, E. J. smiled and said, “Fortunately, we found a milk-based paint that does not affect her, and were able to repaint all the rooms in our home. Even better, the kids don’t have the allergy. Thank God for that!” As we parted ways, E. J. handed me a gift, neatly wrapped by his wife. On Christmas morning, I opened it and found a beautiful, leather-bound journal. My former student remembered that I am a devoted diarist. He had written entry one for me — words I will always cherish: “You have been the best teacher I could ever have asked for. You have changed the way I think about and write things. I am glad you are part of my life.” It’s the other way around, dear friend. My New Year’s resolution is to be like you. I will strive to improve in myself what you exhibit every day: naturalness.