Snake Oil

The fellow with the cheesy 1930s pencil thin moustache describes to his “interviewer” how our diets are so poor these days that our intestines just cannot keep up with the load. He claims that in most people anywhere from 10 to 50 pounds of fecal matter “encrust” our colons like buildup in a drain pipe or cholesterol in our veins.

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Bull****! What really frosts me is that the viewing public is snapping up this snake oil by the case. The liberals have watered down the American education system to the point that most people don’t even know the difference between the colon, the bowel or the intestine…and there is a difference. How many of us have had to undergo a colonoscopy? After suffering through that ordeal have any of you come out of it 10 to 50 pounds lighter? Hmmm? No, you haven’t, because your body does not work any way in relation to the claims of these frauds. This link, is a superb article on how the lower tract of our body functions. There’s some pretty detailed information so don’t read it while eating. You know that line the cleansing hucksters use, “information your doctors don’t want you to know”? This is information the hucksters don’t want you to know. In addition to weakening our schools, the liberals also weakened the fraud laws so we now have literally hundreds of phony medical products being hawked on every form of media out there. I hate to break it to you (no, I don’t) but not one of them will do what they claim. There is no magic pill that will safely help you lose weight. A healthy diet and exercise still works best with no additional outgo from your wallet. There is no special secret formula that will give you a squeaky clean colon and you are not poisoning yourself because of built up waste material. Your intestines do not resemble a drainage pipe and they are completely different from your veins. It is a simple matter of anatomy and you will not find one article written by any reputable physician that supports Mr. Cheesy Moustache’s claims. Do you have a problem with indigestion, irregularity, fatigue or any of the other symptoms these frauds expound upon? Diet and exercise is your best medicine. An increase in soluble fiber with a moderate amount of exercise will solve your problem literally overnight without going through the gas, cramps and other uncomfortable events that any one of the colon cleansing products will cause. Your body is built to function that way. Do you have regular heartburn? Try cutting down on the amount of coffee you drink in the morning and add some fiber to your breakfast. You’ll feel better and have more, longer lasting energy. Back in the early 19th century Snake Oil was one of the best known remedies offered up in the American Traveling Medicine shows. Television and radio did not exist then, but you can find archival evidence of its popularity with highly decorated ads expounding outrageous claims. Clark Stanley, the Rattlesnake King of Rhode Island, was a prominent huckster of that day. Consider him the Mr. Cheesy Moustache of the late 1800s. He would hold a bottle of his snake oil ointment high over the crowd and shout out its miraculous properties. It would cure arthritis, rheumatism, gout or any other chronic pain. He would even kill rattlesnakes on his stage and boil them down. The collected tallow was made into an ointment and sold to the waiting crowds. Later examinations of some of this snake oil reveals minute amounts of menthol, clove oil and, because of the snakes, omega 3. If you examine the current crop of snake oils you will also find minute benefits, but a minute amount of benefit cannot make up for a massive amount of harm. Unfortunately, so many roadblocks concerning proof of intent of harm have been placed into both the FTC and the Lanham Acts that the consumer is left twisting in the wind. The best thing to do is when one of these commercials comes on is to change the channel. I really only have one question to ask: We can recognize the snake oil coming from Washington DC so why can’t we recognize it when it comes in an infomercial?