--Satire --A HUGH BETCHA EXCLUSIVE
In the face of overwhelming public sentiment that a travel ban should be imposed on incoming flights from Ebola-plagued West Africa in order to protect Americans from this killer disease, the President has decided to double down on his adamant refusal to consider such measures to protect his own citizens.
And, as usual, when the President decides to announce a new policy initiative or important development, he calls his longtime friend and confidante, Hugh Betcha, first. Hurrying to Foggy Bottom to meet with Obama after a late night call yesterday from the White House, Hugh was quick to respond. A reporter with great influence on both sides of the aisle, unlimited access to the President, a man who walks with kings and princes, winner of the 2014 MSNBC “Reporter We Would Most Like to Hang With” award and the 2014 Nobel Journalism Prize for his coverage on world health issues, Hugh Betcha filed this exclusive report with Canada Free Press.
Settling into his favorite overstuffed chair in the Oval Office, he was briefed by the President on what Obama described as an important public policy announcement designed to allay public fears about airline travel from West Africa and respond to his critics, who claim that allowing unlimited flights from West Africa into the United States was tantamount to inviting the Reaper into our backyard.
“Those 70 percent of the American public who say that incoming flights should be banned are just misguided,” the President stated sternly. “Who knows better than I, the President, about such matters?”
“Well….” Hugh tried to respond.
“—after all, didn’t I tell you that you could keep your insurance policy if you wanted; you could keep your doctor if you wanted; ISIS is just the Junior Varsity; and Al Qaeda is on the run?”
“Yes, that is precisely the p---“ Hugh tried vainly to interject.
“His newest book, The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” was released in 2011 with all the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”