Dub and the slickster

Good morning all, and come on in once again to "Miz Judi's Kitchen!" We ain't far from firin off a cookstove! If you'd happened to have noticed before, I kinda like tellin a story or two, and if ya ain't, well... I kinda like tellin a story or two. Basically, if I can find someone who'll supply the listenin...normally I'll be able to supply the talkin!

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I'd like to share with ya'll a little story this morning about an ole friend a mine who also worked with us awhile down at my Dad's ranch. I worked there in the early nineties, and no it wasn't the 1890's, there's one in every crowd ain't there? Later I went off into the pavin business and my brother Shane runs the ranch for Dad.... Anyway, my ole buddy's name was James, but we all knew him as "Slick!" Slick was a character, I'm hear to tell ya, but was one of the hardest workers I've ever been around, no joke. You gotta understand my Dad demanded 110% ALL the time, and my whole family worked hard, even my Momma. But I'm here to tell ya, it didn't hurt us one bit, and throughout our life, the work ethic my Dad instilled in us benefited us to no end! I have to also say that it was instilled in our children as well! We have some very fine children, and we're proud of them, and our seven grandchildren to boot! With that said, my point is this...when we said someone was a hard worker, that's exactly what they were... a hard worker. That compliment wasn't given out, it was earned, and Slick definitely earned it! Well Slick had a daughter, Jamie Lynn who was probably bout 7 when this story is takin place (remember this fact), and he raised her right by himself after he and his wife were divorced. That again is but one more reason my whole family "fell in love" with ole Slickster! Slick and I were building new fence one day and we were settin posts at the time. We had an ole CAT 966 loader back then, and Slick and I had figgered out we could take the bucket of that loader, filler up with dirt and literally push them posts down in the ground instead of "hand-diggin" em. We was on to something here! For those in different parts of the country, here in Florida we've got a lot of sand, and this enabled us to push the "line posts" in the ground, but not the "corner posts." The corner posts were much bigger around and were used to pull our barbed wire from one corner to the next, so they had to be stout uns, and Slick and I didn't see anyway possible in which we could utilize that loader and push them corners in too! But I'm here to tell ya, we sure tried to figger out how to sink em! Slick had one drawback though. He wore big ole thick lensed glasses, and he couldn't see a lick without em...nothin. Besides that, he couldn't hardly see nothin up close WITH EM! He definitely was workin with a handicap in regards to his eyes! In the same breath though, it sure broadened the possibilities in regards to his datin though..you know, cain't see well, it's gettin late, you're at the bar...ah, forget it! That ole loader we was a shoving them fence posts in with would run about 30 minutes and go to coughin and sputterin. The reason was we'd got some dirty fuel in her and the fuel bowl would clog up ever so often. Well, I'd climb down off the loader, pull the fuel bowl off, dump it, put her back on and we was good to go for another 30 minutes or so...all day long this would go on, Slick steady watchin me work on it...takin it all in you might say! Now underneath the actual fuel bowl was a little, tiny spring, and it sit up against that bowl, so you HAD to have it! Well, one more time that ole loader went to missin, and I asked Slick, you reckon you can fix her this time, Slick? To which Slick replied, I believe so, and he went to takin off that bowl. As soon as he took that bowl off, I saw that spring jump out, and it fell down under the loader in grass bout ankle high. Slick immediately jumped up under that loader and went to fannin that grass with his hand, the whole time me knowin just about where the spring had landed, but with him a fannin that grass I was afraid he'd move it somewhere accidentally, and we'd shore nuff lose it! He couldn't see his hand in front of his face most time, but there he was, huntin that little ole tiny spring, as if he'd a seen it anyway! I jumped off the loader and hollered, "Slick... stop... we'll lose it man," and he backed out from underneath the machine! Now, I couldn't have done what I'm fixin to tell ya'll I did again in a hundred years. I just lucked up and walked right up to that spring, picked it up and told Slick, "Here it is!" Slick's expression looked as if he'd a been shot! He thought for a minute then said, "My God... first thing I'm gonna tell Jamie Lynn when I git home tonight is...You sure don't wanna hunt no Easter eggs with that man!!" I laughed at that guy till my sides hurt! One more quick Slick story. Slick never got out of Florida, and very rarely got out of Osceola County, and with this bein the case, another buddy of mine, whose name is Doug, took Slick up to New Jersey with him. Make him a "man of the world," so to speak! Well Doug's New Jersey buddies all owned bars, so there is the distinct possibility Doug and Slick during their visit might of took a drink. I'm just sayin... If you remember from the previous tale, Slick was in fact divorced and had raised Jamie Lynn ever since. I do believe infidelity had played a part in Slick's divorce, and from Doug's tale about Slick upon their return from New Jersey, it must have been the case. Doug said they'd been makin the rounds from bar to bar, it was getting late, and they'd decided to call it a night. He claimed on the way home to one of his buddy's house, they were drivin down the road and all of a sudden his buddy said, "Right there's where they found that man's body, Doug. There in that dumpster behind that mall." Doug said Slick, upon hearing about a man's body bein found in a dumpster, immediately became involved in the conversation. Slick asked, "What man?" Doug's buddy then said," The man who got caught messin with that other man's wife. The husband came home and caught em together! When he did, he shot and killed the man, took him off, and threw him in that dumpster!" Doug said Slick didn't utter a sound for a couple minutes, but instead was sinkin in all he'd just heard! All of a sudden, Slick raised up from the back seat and exclaimed, "My God...if I'd shot ever man my wife messed around with...I'd A Been A Mass Murderer!" Doug said they all bout fell outta the truck! Ole Slick is some Slick, I'm here to tell ya! Well, ya'll wanna fire off a stove? Deb's gonna kill me over this one as she wasn't particularly happy with the recipe I'd chosen, but looky here men, when you wear the britches in the house, what you say goe...hang on a minute guys, someone's comin in...Oh, Deb! I wasn't expectin you so soon this morning, come on in honey!!( Look guys, I'm gonna have to git back with ya'll on that last statement I was makin when Deb come in...okay?) Man...that was a close one!! Whew!

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