- Satire-- by Stoos Views Ace Reporter Hugh Betcha
In a bold move to at once save federal dollars by releasing illegal alien criminals, firing expensive TSA employees, and getting maximum use out of the $50 million dollars that Obama has authorized for new TSA uniforms—apparently exempt from the sequester—the President announced today in an exclusive interview with Canada Free Press/Stoos Views Ace Reporter Hugh Betcha his bold new plan.
“It is a win-win for the folks,” the President said as he relaxed in the Oval Office with his old friend, Hugh Betcha, winner of the “2013 Most Trusted Name in Reporting Award” from MSNBC, a reporter who is respected by both sides of the aisle, most foreign countries and frequent golf partner of the President and Tiger Woods. “In this way, we put the illegal aliens to work and on the path to citizenship, we save millions in salaries paid to those expensive TSA workers, and we give the aliens those snazzy uniforms that I just authorized for $50 million dollars and the savings to the federal budget will be tremendous,” the President stated confidently as he pulled on his Marlboro.
“Yes, but what about all the TSA employees—what will they do?”
“Simple,” the President smiled smugly, “they can get unemployment benefits and food stamps until the economy turns around and they can get jobs somewhere else.”
“Which is when?” Hugh asked.
“His newest book, The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” was released in 2011 with all the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”