-Satire
After returning two burnt-out, allegedly long-lasting, politically-correct, environmentally- friendly, curly Q, Al Gore-sanctioned, CFL bulbs within two moths of purchase, and having evacuated his office a couple times so the local HAZMAT team could do a sweep of the office and clean up the mercury neurotoxins emitted by a bulb that broke on the floor, Hugh Betcha decided to investigate. Hugh, the "Chief of the Environmental News Bureau" of worldwide media conglomerate, Stoos Views, and named "Most Trusted Journalist in America, 2011"--a man who walks with kings and princes and has the respect of both sides of the aisle in Washington, D.C.--decided to explore these mercury-laden, harmful-ray emitting, but politically- correct bulbs destined, by federal fiat, to phase out the trusty old incandescent bulbs that have graced American households for over a century.