PHILADELPHIA -- The legendary congenital liar Hillary Clinton accepted her party's nomination for the presidency last night mercifully bringing the boisterous, chaotic freakshow that was the 2016 Democratic National Convention to an end. A day of rain finally broke the oppressive heat wave enveloping the Wells Fargo Center complex which was surrounded by miles of temporary black metal walls, layers of police, and Secret Service checkpoints manned by TSA employees. Inside the conventional hall, Democrats railed against border walls, the supposed systemic racism of police and the justice system, and having to show any kind of identification to vote. Chelsea Clinton introduced her mother on the stage. It was an unremarkable speech not worth detailing here. Next followed a slick video about Hillary that was narrated by actor Morgan Freeman. The final words Freeman says are "How many ways will she light up the world? This is the woman."

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