-Satire-
“I need the Pork Vote,” said the President firmly to his assembled cabinet. “Those Iowa farmers can deliver six Electoral College votes for me, pork prices are low, pork is the ‘other white meat’ and very healthy, so it is a marriage made in heaven. I promote pork, the Iowa pig farmers promote me and we win Iowa. Accordingly,” he continued before a shocked audience, “I am issuing an Executive Order—to be administered by Health and Human Services—that henceforth, all Jewish and Muslim restaurants in the United States shall offer at least one pork dish to their customers.”
