I know, I know. Who cares what Cosmo thinks about guns, right? If you've ever read an issue, you know it's an atrocious, substance-free rag that's mostly a vehicle for makeup ads. On the rare occasion that you can find an actual article, you'll be treated to something that's just a notch above pornography.
Still, it's one of the most circulated consumer magazines in the country, so someone out there is wasting their time reading it. When these folks aren't learning about "5 Secret Erogenous Zones that Will Really Drive Him Wild," there's a slight possibility that they may honestly care what the mag thinks about firearms.
This week, Cosmo released a video in which "couples talk about guns." I watched it the same way I watch MSNBC - for a chuckle. It's every bit as horrible as you'd expect.
Here are the five big takeaways:
1. Women are fragile little snowflakes who are really afraid of the scary guns.
Despite the fact that women are buying more guns than ever, Cosmo seems to think that all females are terrified of the things. The "Cosmo woman" is a precious little snowflake who understands that abject fear is the only proper reaction to a firearm. They're "death machines" and they're unwelcome in any sane woman's home. ...Especially if she has children to protect.
2. Rights are totally overrated eye-rollers that only moronic Americans care about.
As one of the women featured in the clip says; "from a non-American point of view" Americans sure have gotten used to their ridiculous 'rights.' Things like freedom of speech and the 2nd Amendment are just plain silly, and these women can't believe we're still clinging to such antiquated ideas. Enlightened people roll their eyes at the concept of constitutionally-protected freedoms.
3. Men who own guns are probably going to come home drunk and kill their wives.
Let's say you're a man who owns a gun. You'll probably go out, get drunk, come home, and shoot your wife or girlfriend. C'mon. You can admit it. You can lock the guns up all you want, but you know you're going to do it. It's best to just be honest with yourself about your uncontrolled, alcohol-fueled, misogynist blood lust.
4. Guns have no purpose other than being "death machines."
Sure, a car can kill people too. Almost anything can. However, these items have uses other than murderous rampages. Guns do not. Firearms are only used to kill. You can't use them for target practice, hunting, or to defend one's home and family. If you think you have a gun for any of these purposes, you're just kidding yourself. In fact, your justification for firearm ownership probably has something to do with the aforementioned fact that you're going to get shnockered and kill your wife.
5. Men are inarticulate idiots.
I could list all of the reasons that Cosmo's video is mind-numbingly insipid. I could explain its biases, the fact that it stems from gross ignorance, or the fact that it somehow manages to be sexist against both men AND women. It would be extraordinarily easy to do. However, I'm not going to waste my time on it. All I'll say is this: I hope there was a rigorous editing process that made these gun owners look like inarticulate dude-bros, because virtually every fear-based argument made by the women in this clip is insanely easy to demolish.
Congratulations to Cosmopolitan Magazine for being a publication which has mastered the art of talking down to its audience. Apparently the editors think their readership is a quivering mass of terrified little girls who are incapable of standing up for themselves or understanding the nuances of firearm ownership.
Their laughable propaganda exercise appears below.
I know, I know. Who cares what Cosmo thinks about guns, right? If you've ever read an issue, you know it's an atrocious, substance-free rag that's mostly a vehicle for makeup ads. On the rare occasion that you can find an actual article, you'll be treated to something that's just a notch above pornography.
Still, it's one of the most circulated consumer magazines in the country, so someone out there is wasting their time reading it. When these folks aren't learning about "5 Secret Erogenous Zones that Will Really Drive Him Wild," there's a slight possibility that they may honestly care what the mag thinks about firearms.
