Today's big news isn't ISIS. It isn't the United States' stagnant economy and it isn't Obama's defiance of a federal judge. No. Today's most important bit of news is this: Kim Jong Un, dictator, psychopath, and Margarita enthusiast, has undergone what CNN calls "a bold transformation."
"Bowl Cut Jr." has a new "power hairdo" and, if the largely unwatched news network is to be believed, it might very well signal the beginning of World War III.
Behold the awesome might of the "extreme flat top!"
According to CNN's analysts, the poofy coiffure is yet another escalation in the Norks' nascent war against the west. North Korea's Sony hack, missile tests, slave labor, and nuclear aspirations are all connected - like a spiderweb of red yarn - to the supreme leader's follicles.
I suppose that's possible. If his regime is beginning to become a legitimate danger, we should obviously treat it in a manner proportionate to the threat it poses. However, let's apply Occam's razor here. Isn't it more likely that he's just trying out a "tougher" look in an effort to make people forget about his supposed love of Katy Perry?
