Report: North Korea claims to have landed a man on the sun
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The source for this is something I’ve never heard of before today - a web site called Waterford Whispers News. There was a report last year from Investors Business Daily that the Norks had announced their intention to put a man on the sun.
I can’t find anything on the English-language version of the KCNA, which is the Norks’ official news agency site, but the report says it was uttered in a televised newscast for which they offer no video as backup. I don’t know. I suppose it says everything about the madcap nature of this regime that you find it hard believe they would really make such a claim, but you can’t be entirely sure.
Darn it, I want to believe!
It reported that astronaut Hung Il Gong left for the sun on a specially designed rocket ship at approximately 3am this morning.
Hung, who traveled alone, reached his destination some four hours later, landing his craft on the far side of the lonely star.
“We are very delighted to announce a successful mission to put a man on the sun.” a North Korean central news anchor man said on a live broadcast earlier. “North Korea has beaten every other country in the world to the sun. Hung Il Gong is a hero and deserves a hero’s welcome when he returns home later this evening.”
The specially trained astronaut is expected to return back to earth at 9pm tonight, where he will meet his uncle and supreme leader Kim Jong-un.
It is understood that the 17-year-old ‘space explorer’ traveled at night to avoid being engulfed by the suns rays, and that this genius approach has brought the soviet state to the top of the global space rankings.
While on the sun, Mr. Hung collected sun spot samples to bring back to his supreme leader as a present.
The 18 hour mission is already being called the ‘greatest human achievement of our time’ by the North Korean central news agency.
Oh please, don’t tell me some wise-# made this up, and that the Norks aren’t really making this claim. After all, they did claim Kim Jong Il shot 11 holes-in-one the first time he ever played golf. That’s slightly less plausible than this, but they clearly aren’t too concerned about incredulity from the masses.
But wait, you say . . . they’re crazy, but this is just too much? To the sun and back in 18 hours? He “traveled at night to avoid being engulfed by the sun’s rays”? He brought back “sun spot samples” as a gift for Bowl Cut Jr. Hung Il Gong? Come on. This has to be the work of some wise-# and not actual North Korean propagandists?
I have a theory according to which both could be true.
Who’s to say there’s not some wise # who wormed his way into the propaganda ministry - someone who has a clear understanding of how insane all this is, but has noticed that Kim Jong Un and his inner circle are so divorced from reality that, no matter how absurd the material is that he comes up with, they keep signing off on it. So why not have some fun with it? They let you get away with that freaky We Are The World send up? They let you put out that business about Kim Jong Un’s uncle being fed to starving dogs? Up your game! How about landing a man on the sun? Surely you’re not going to get that one through . . . whoa.
Hey, it’s plausible. Then again, maybe they really did it. Maybe that undying faith that Obama, Reid and Pelosi have in the great power of government doesn’t go far enough.
UPDATE (Rob): Dan didn’t think of the much more obvious explanation. Someone in Pyongyang is a huge fan of Smash Mouth and/or Katrina and the Waves: