John Lillpop

Why Is Government Forcing America to Switch to Digital Television?

Apparently the sticky problems confronting our nation, including wars in two foreign nations, the very real threat of terrorism, gasoline near $5 a gallon, rising inflation and unemployment, spiraling health care costs, record federal deficits, old, declining infrastructure, and massive illegal immigration from the third-world, are not enough to keep Washington bureaucrats busy.

Barack Obama and the Audacity of a Loaded Gun

Until now, presumptive presidential nominee Barack Obama has come across as a bit of a wuss, a bloke without the cojones that any American president must have to gain and maintain the upper hand against blood thirsty terrorists and brutal dictators.

I Am Voting Democrat

After two years of listening to and watching hundreds of debates and town hall meetings, I have finally reached a conclusion.

Aloha and Mahalo, Jidhadist Dudes!

--Satire-- Of all the bloody cheek!

Help Wanted: Executive Position in Washington, D.C.

--Satire-- America is in a dilemma of catastrophic proportions since neither of the major party candidates is qualified to serve as the 44th president of these great United States.

McCain-Clinton?

--Satire-- One of my favorite editors chided me over a recent column titled "Celebrating the Death of Inevitability," written to gloat, in a chortling, disrespectful and mean-spirited way, over the demise of Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton.

The McCain Plan for Punishing Exorbitant Initiative and Success

Despite 18 months of Democrat majorities in both chambers of the US Congress, America is still the land of opportunity, where one's horizons are limited only by one's ability to dream and produce.

End Discrimination Against the Confederate Flag and the South

Why is it that those who preach that "our diversity is our greatest strength" the loudest are often the least tolerant and most non-inclusive?

Stimulus Checks from Uncle Sam: Fool’s Gold Wrapped in $$$ Bills?

How utterly clever and gracious of arrogant oafs in Washington to "gift" American taxpayers with a pittance of the funds previously pinched from we the people by a federal government that should be in foreclosure because of fiduciary neglect wrought by wholesale corruption and incompetence.

Arnold to Use Lottery, Gay Marriage to Balance Budget!

--Satire-- Give California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger some credit. (Just don't grant credit to the state of California!)

Are Liberals to Blame for Soaring Gasoline prices?

In the throes of the Great Gasoline Crisis of 2008, many irate citizens are wrongly blaming President Bush and the Republicans for it all, vowing to install veto-proof Democrat majorities in both chambers of congress and a socialist, allegedly black Muslim as president come November.

Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton: Good for America?

Satire-- For twenty consecutive years, America has been cursed, or blessed depending on one's perspective, with either a Bush or a Clinton in the Oval Office. And at the beginning of this year, it appeared as though voters would continue this maddening trend by installing yet another Clinton as president come November 4.

Democrats Pass Torch to New Generation, Feminism Vanquished!

June 3, 2008 will go into the annals of political history as the date on which an inexperienced and unqualified young black man from Illinois wrestled control of the national Democrat Party away from an aging feminist and her morally corrupt spouse. On this memorable date, Barack Hussein Obama officially dispensed with Bill and Hillary Clinton and their "comeback" nonsense, signifying that the torch of power and influence has been passed to a new generation of American liberals. It would be wonderful to congratulate Barack Obama and his followers for ridding America of the Clinton man-wife tag team, best known for being congenital liars and leftist fascists intent on bringing anarchy and evil back to the Oval Office.

Tatum O’Neal Uses “Bernie Ward” Defense, Ends Up in Jail!

--Satire-- Rarely has actress Tatum O'Neal been mistaken for a rocket science intellectual from Hollywood. Mensa meetings are not exactly her cup of tea, which is perfectly fine since she has never been invited to one.

Democrats in Political Heat Over McClellan Revelations

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan is being touted by Democrats as a man of truth and wisdom following McClellan's blistering chronicling of the Bush presidency.

Speaker Pelosi Addresses Obesity Versus Hunger in America

--Satire-- Immediately after engineering the non-binding resolution on the floor of the U.S. House that provided victory for al-Qaeda, Speaker Pelosi boarded a commercial flight bound for San Francisco.

Sit Down and Shut Up, Hillary Clinton!

For damn near 17 years, the American people have stood by helplessly while being forced to witness non-stop exaggerations, deception, distortion, and scandals perpetrated by one Hillary Rodham Clinton.

John McCain, Illegal Aliens, and God

From his bag of tricks for converting right-thinking conservatives into Republican leftists, John McCain has injected God, love, and compassion into the non-stop wrangling about amnesty for as many as 38 million illegal aliens.

A Reasonable Plan for Dealing With Illegal Aliens

Mr. President, Honorable Members of Congress: Because our government has refused to secure America's borders and enforce our immigration laws, our nation is struggling to deal with as many as 38 million illegal aliens who have entered this great nation unlawfully.

McCain Meltdown Madness: Ignoring Existing Immigration Laws

As Senator John McCain slips further and further into the grips of neurotic self-delusion, his arguments in favor of legalizing 38 million illegal aliens becomes more and more specious.