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Connie Stevens

"If you look up the word "cute" in the dictionary, you're going to find Connie Steven's picture illustrating it,"

PSALM 2008-2012

October 3rd, 2008

Obama Is My Shepherd,

I  Shall Not Want.

He Leadeth Me Beside Still Factories,

He Restoreth My Faith In The Republican Party.

He Guideth Me In The Paths Of   Unemployment.

Yea, Though I Walk Through The Valley Of The Bread Line,

I Shall Not Go Hungry.

Obama Has Anointed My Income With Taxes,

My Expenses Runneth Over My Income,

Surely, Poverty And Hard Living Will Follow Me All

The Days Of My Life.

The Democrats And I Will Live Forever In a Rented Room.

But  I Am Glad I Am an American,

I Am Glad That I Am  Free.

But I Wish I Was A Dog

And Obama A Tree.

Posted in United States | No Comments »

Voting liberal

September 21st, 2008

Sent in from a CFP reader.

A taxpayer who votes Liberal is like a chicken who votes for Colonel Sanders.

Posted in Readers | No Comments »

Final Word On Nutrition!

September 17th, 2008

CFP reader Don Klein sends in this little number on Nutrition.

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here’s the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. But don’t worry, the Federal Government is trying to correct this problem.

Posted in Readers | No Comments »

Israel and Palestine

September 16th, 2008

Sent in by a reader today….

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile. 

A representative from Israel began: “Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath!’
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Humour, Middle East, World | No Comments »

Weapons of Math Instruction, Teacher Arrested !

August 13th, 2008
Saw this on the web and had to pass it on…

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Humour | No Comments »

Yes! Yes! Yes!

July 30th, 2008

Giant American Flag Will Continue To Fly At Car DealershipFlag Is 65 Feet Higher, 120 Square Feet Bigger Than New City Ordinance

LEESBURG, Fla. — A giant American flag that is larger than a city ordinance allows will be allowed to continue to fly at a popular Central Florida car dealership. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in United States | No Comments »

Eat like a king…for 2 bucks

July 24th, 2008

Remember the lunch counters of yesteryear?  

Saw this menu on the web and just had to post it Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in General | No Comments »

Obama exploits own daughters in presidential bid

July 9th, 2008

Senator Barack Obama, facing criticism for what could be perceived as exploiting his on daughters in his presidential bid, says he won’t be doing it again.

In an Access Holllywood “exclusive”,  Obama’s school aged daughters, Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, appear in a domestic scene, celebrating both Maila’s 10th birthday and Independence Day.

Some seemed suprised that the senator would allow his daughters to appear in this publicity stunt.

Their surprise is displaced, given that the presidental wannabe already tossed his own Grandma under the bus.

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

CFP’s resident poet

June 29th, 2008

It should have come as no surprise to me when I sent word today to William Bedford asking him for a brief bio to use on his cover story on Canada Free Press tomorrow that he was born in Dublin.

 

William Bedford writes the most stirring poems.  There is something about the Emerald Isle that breathes a talent to express poetry in some of its sons.  Ireland is afterall the home of James Joyce, Seamus Heaney and W.B. Yeats, amongst many others.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Obama’s Senate work experience

June 22nd, 2008

Just how much United States Senate experience does The MESSIAH Barack Obama have in terms of actual work days?

Not much.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in American presidential race | No Comments »

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