Copyright © 2020 William Kevin Stoos
William Kevin Stoos (aka Hugh Betcha) is a writer, book reviewer, and attorney, whose feature and cover articles have appeared in the Liguorian, Carmelite Digest, Catholic Digest, Catholic Medical Association Ethics Journal, Nature Conservancy Magazine, Liberty Magazine, Social Justice Review, Wall Street Journal Online and other secular and religious publications. He is a regular contributing author for The Bread of Life Magazine in Canada. His review of Shadow World, by COL. Robert Chandler, propelled that book to best seller status. His book, The Woodcarver (]And Other Stories of Faith and Inspiration) © 2009, William Kevin Stoos (Strategic Publishing Company)—a collection of feature and cover stories on matters of faith—was released in July of 2009. It can be purchased though many internet booksellers including Amazon, Tower, Barnes and Noble and others. Royalties from his writings go to support the Carmelites. He resides in Wynstone, South Dakota.
-Satire
In a bow to political correctness, the Governor of Washington State has banned Christmas and all other forms of religious expression, according to Stoos Views' man on the scene--Hugh Betcha. Hugh, Chief of the Religious Affairs Bureau of the Stoos Views media empire, was summoned by Governor Christine "The Grinch" Gregoire so she could explain her recent ban on religion in the State of Washington.
"Political Correctness" is where it's at nowadays," the Governor began as she showed Hugh to his seat. "No more of this Jesus and God stuff," she said sternly, as she pointed to the crucifix in her wastebasket. "As Governor of this state, I must defer to the Founding Persons, who said that there must be a separation of Church and State, and that government may not tolerate religion," she continued.
-Satire-
In a surprising move aimed at blocking the passage of the Mother of All Bills—a fifteen pound, 2,000 page, tree-killing, polar bear orphaning, ice melting, greenhouse gas producing monstrosity called the Senate Health Care Bill (aka “Obama Universal Coverage for Health, or, O.U.C.H)—EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson and Al (The Earth’s Core is Hotter than the Sun) Gore joined as Plaintiffs in a last minute attempt to block action on the bill this weekend. And, in order to publicize their attempt to block the legislation, they enlisted the help of the most trusted name in journalism and the man who has dined with Princes, Kings and Presidents, world traveler, and Head of the Environmental News Desk of Stoos Views’ media conglomerate, Hugh Betcha.
If anyone ever needed proof of how much the Left fears Sarah Palin, or how desperately MSNBC seeks to generate some news, they need only watch the pathetic attack dog interview conducted by self styled Obama Chick Nora O'Donnell of MSNBC this week. O'Donnell, stalking a line of Palin supporters waiting to get their books signed, like a shark circling its prey, pounced upon a teenage Palin supporter who wore a funny tee shirt lampooning the TARP bailout. It seems that this female Keith Doberman Wannabe just could not wait to engage this unsuspecting young girl in a debate as to whether Sarah was, or was not, in favor of the government bailout.
"ROAD TRIP!" shouted the excited voice of Barack Obama as he yelled into the telephone. Veteran reporter and Chief of the International Bureau of Stoos Views' media conglomerate Hugh Betcha, had to hold the ear piece of the phone away from his ear as he heard the news. "What?" the reporter asked.
"Road trip! We are heading out this week to the Far East. Want to hang out?" the President asked his friend and confidante.
This was not the first time Hugh had been asked to accompany Obama on a boondoggle. Hugh, the most trusted name in the media, who moves with equal ease about both sides of the aisle in Congress and has access to political figures that would make Chris ("Tingle Down My Leg When Obama Speaks") Mathews blush with envy, was quick to accept.
(A Stoos Views Exclusive)
What kind of a man would skip his own son’s wedding to cast a vote in the United States Congress? The answer is, a man who cares passionately about the future of the United States, its slippery slide down the path of socialism, and the loss of the precious freedoms that he was blessed with before he became a father and a grandfather. The kind of man who cares deeply about the country that allowed a guy like him to build a successful small business, support his family, and provide jobs for others. The kind of man who, when government would not listen to him, ran for office so people like him--normal, hard working, patriotic citizens who pay their taxes, do not expect a handout from Uncle Sugar, and ask little from government other than to be left alone--would have a voice in government. He is a fighter for the common folks who live decent lives according to the Jeffersonian agrarian values they learned by living in the Midwest--where the center still holds.
I love the things of fall--my favorite season. The chill in the air, the colorful foliage, the harvest; apples, squash and pumpkins. The golden sunsets, the Indian summers and the squawk of the blue jay, the squirrel rustling in the leaves and burying the nuts he will soon forget. And, next to the American Bittersweet--my favorite fall plant (See, Bittersweet Woods, Canada Free Press)--I love the ugly, curious and wonderfully wrinkled yellow-green oddity known as the “hedge ball” a/k/a “hedge apple”.
-Satire-
“The Homeland Security Subcommittee on Emerging Threats, Cybersecurity, Science and Technology criticized the government’s handling of the swine flu epidemic, recently declared to be a ‘national emergency’ by President Obama” October 27, 2009
When ace reporter Hugh Betcha, Chief of the Public Health Bureau of the Stoos Views news conglomerate, visited his family doctor this week for a check up and seasonal flu vaccination, he was shocked to learn that the clinic had no flu vaccine. Neither did Walmart, Walgreens, the local hospital, the public health clinic, nor anyone else in town. In the Land of Hope and Change, where Uncle Sugar has promised to care for His people and administer their health care needs, it was impossible to believe that the country was already woefully short on the flu vaccine.
Senate Majority Leader Harry (“Just Kidding When I Told You I Hope Your Newspaper Goes Out of Business” Reid), who for years has been afflicted with a Tourette’s-like illness which compels him to insult politicians, fellow Nevadans, American citizens, and respected military leaders, has decided to seek emergency medical treatment, according to America’s most trusted news source--Hugh Betcha.
Chief Political Correspondent for the Stoos Views news conglomerate and long time confidante of the Majority Leader, Hugh was invited to the office of Senator Reid for a private discussion about the Senator’s health, before the official announcement was released to the press.
- Satire
Ignoring less important matters like our troops fighting and dying in Afghanistan, the Iranian nuclear threat, and other such matters, the Vacationer in Chief, Barack Obama, has announced plans to travel to Copenhagen to persuade the International Olympic Committee to choose Chicago as the site of the 2016 Summer Games.
Traveling with him on the President’s 53rd vacation overseas since assuming the presidency, will be Stoos Views’ Chief White House correspondent and most trusted name in journalism--Hugh Betcha. Summoned to the White House for a private meeting with the President, Hugh interviewed Obama in the Oval Office about their upcoming trip.
Recently, Jimmah Carter, arguably the worst President in history, who brought us:
• Blindfolded American hostages paraded before the world press by a rogue regime in Iran (whose current president, of course, was one of the hostage takers);
• Helicopters crashing in the desert, and eight brave young Americans dying in the sand during an ill-conceived, abortive rescue mission which became symbolic of the Carter presidency;
• Oppressive home mortgage interest rates as high as twenty-one percent (21%);
• Billy Beer--a cheap swill shamelessly hawked by Jimmah’s brother Billy, who embarrassed the county and the president with inane TV commercials and half-sober interviews with the press, and who distinguished himself by becoming the only President in recent history to openly and shamelessly criticizing a sitting President, went on another of his famous (and ineffectual) trips to bring peace to the Middle East. Why the Israelis would trust Jimmah—whose organization has accepted hundreds of thousands of dollars from the Arab lobby and who considers Hamas and Hezbollah “Freedom Fighters” --God only knows.
In the forests of New England
It built a colony,
And, dreaming of a nation
Where men could dare live free
It paused to wipe its sweaty brow
And set forth then to build
A place where freedom’s promise
Could be, in time, fulfilled.
And labor drove the wagons on
A westward odyssey,
Then turned the rolling prairie land
Into a golden sea;
--Satire--
Senator Harry Reid, fresh from trashing the most influential newspaper in Nevada--telling them that he "hopes they go out of business," [sic], did what all smart politicians in Washington do when they are in trouble: they call the most respected name in journalism--Stoos Views' own, Hugh Betcha. Hugh, Chief Political Correspondent for the Stoos Views media conglomerate and journalist who commands the respect of politicians of all stripes, responded to a frantic call from Senator Reid last evening, beckoning the reporter to a hastily arranged meeting with the Senator at his Washington, D.C. office.
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Lemme get this straight: Hamid Karzai is the President of Afghanistan, whose country we are propping up in order to hold free and fair elections, allow the Afghans to establish a democratic state where people have the right to govern themselves, while keeping the Taliban at bay. In order to do this, we have spent billions of dollars, and sent thousands of brave men and women to risk life and limb (losing dozens of them per month) fighting a bunch of knuckle dragging religious zealots who believe that women are a lower form of human life, who should be covered with sheets and beaten with pipes.
When the President assured the crowd at a recent town hall meeting on health care that their grandmothers were safe under his proposed health care plan (whatever that is) and that rumors of rationing and D.E.A.T.H. (Department of Euthanasia And Triage of Humans) [see "Shut Up and Hand Me the Wrench!‚" The Future of Health Care Under Obama Universal Care for Health (O.U.C.H.)‚" July 16, 2009 CFP.)
Committees were simply right wing extremist propaganda, my first thought was: really? Just how credible is Obama the Secular on the issue of life and where did this newfound compassion come from? Since a single payer plan is inevitable if Obama gets his way, since private insurers (villains, according to Obama and Pelosi) will be driven out of the industry to be replaced in time by government regulated fees, doctor salaries, and low premiums set by Congress; and given the fact that the government does not run many things well and cost overruns are inevitable, how can he, or we, be certain that the government will not be forced to ration health care? It is as certain as the sunrise. And when the time comes to make hard judgments about cutting federal costs, it is a certainty that the elderly and the dying will be screened by politically appointed bureaucrats who must, of necessity make hard decisions about the worth of a human life and the cost-benefit ratio involved in sustaining their lives.
In an effort to explain his controversial federal ("Spend Money Like a Drunken Sailor") stimulus policy, President Obama invited the most respected financial reporter in America--Stoos Views own Hugh Betcha--to the White House this week for a private interview. Touting the "success" of the "Cash for Clunkers" program, through which the federal government takes $4,500 from the pockets of taxpayers who do not need new cars and gives a $4,500 rebate to taxpayers who were likely to purchase a new vehicle this summer anyway, Obama was met with skepticism by the reporter.
- Satire
Fresh from insulting a respected General during recent Senate hearings by dressing down a patriotic American whose biggest crime was to call her "Madam," Senator ("You Can Call Me Babs") Boxer has struck again. This week, proving once again that she is the most arrogant and condescending member of the United States Senate, Babs directed her wrath toward Henry Alford, respected business leader and head of the National Black Chamber of Commerce.
- Satire
The year was 2019, in the third term of the Reign of Obama the Secular. Owing to a radical Supreme Court stacked with four Obama appointees who declared the Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution unconstitutional, Obama was well on his way to becoming the first President since Roosevelt to be elected to four terms. A generation that voted for free stuff in 2008, begat another generation of voters who wanted free stuff. In time, the amount of voters wanting free stuff--and knowing they would get it from the Great One--reached a tipping point. They soon outnumbered those who worked, paid taxes, and created jobs. For the next decade they continued to vote for politicians who promised free stuff. Of course, this ensured that the King of Free Stuff, Obama the Secular--who never met a government program he did not like--would be re-elected for life.
“Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it.”
John Quincy Adams
It’s more than just a banner
Framed in azure skies,
And more than just a country--
This land o’er which it flies.
To call this day a birthday
Is to miss its deeper worth:
‘Twas more than just a nation born,
This Day of Freedom’s Birth.